Polish gay dating

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I have had a crush on this guy for years and don’t know if I like him anymore after quarantine or what to do about it

2020.09.19 21:25 Crafty_Pop_8423 I have had a crush on this guy for years and don’t know if I like him anymore after quarantine or what to do about it

This gonna be long Td;lr or whatever: I might this boy but both me and him are extremely shy and I don’t know what to do because I don’t know if me and him are even friends and we’re extremely bad with social anything so it’s hard to get clues and he might have a girlfriend in collage ( okay just to clear this up, me and my crush met at the beginning of senior school when We were 11 and so was he, but my birthday is in September his is in December, I’m now in year 9 and 14 on Monday and I know I’m young but can you not just comment your young you’ll probably forget him because ,although you are probably right, it doesn’t actually help).
Ok so I met this guy at school 2-3 years ago and immediately had a crush. He isn’t ‘hot’ in the traditional sense, but I have a thing for shy dudes (aka guys with severe anxiety) but that’s for another day lol. Anyway he’s also super smart and tall which I like also.
Anyway we spent a lot of time together every day at the school library (which is basically a trailer as they were renovating the library) so we talked often, but we were also in many of the same classes though we didn’t talk much except for the classes where he would often whisper jokes. I don’t know if this was flirting. (I would like to note this is currently bringing up a lot of feelings, oh no). In the library we would just talk about random stuff, my sister also came to the library and like 2 other regulars who well call Jer and Emily.
A bit to know about Jer, he shared a few common interest with my crush. Such as anime, physics (as I said my crush is smart lets call my crush K from now on) and some other things like manga and stuff idk. Jer was also rude and selfish he often makes fun of people but you can tell it’s because he’s going through a rough time ( his dad cheated on his mum and they got a divorce, his dad now has a new wife or girlfriend and baby boy, he’s also might be gay and is not doing okay with it). Either way Jer is a dick but kinda K’s best friend.
Now Emily. Emily is 16-17 (she was 15-16 then, Jer is 15 now but 14 at the time me and my crush were like 12-13) she started coming in the library at the beginning of my year 8 year. At first I barely noticed her. I have been going to school with her younger sister since I was 5 so I knew her a tiny bit previously. She came to the LGBTQ+ club on Friday (she’s bi) but she started coming on other days. She’s a really good writer btw.
So we are at the beginning of year 8 and my crush was stronger then ever. Like creepily. (Something to know about me is I used to think I was asexual because tmi I’m not really sexually attracted to many people or then at all except my crush lol). Anyway Emily starts saying that she’s ‘scared of K because he’s tall’ (insert rolling eyes) until one day Emily had a panic attack and K sat next to her and didn’t say a word. He was just there for her. Emily started to become a bit more flirty and fast forward a couple of months there playing footsie and holding hands. Weirdly this didn’t effect me much. K still made little jokes in lessons and my friends were even starting to expect I had a little crush on him. And also ,this is gonna sound weird, I was actually kinda relived to find out he wasn’t gay. I did feel like my heart broke a little when they were together but I was starting to question weather my crush was just for the sake of having a crush or if I actually liked ~him~ and not just the idea.
So it’s a couple months into the school year and k is polish so he goes to Poland for like a year and I’m not gonna lie my life felt a little empty. K had been gone a few days when I bring up that K is not here. This is where my life becomes a shitshow. Jer is talking about K and remember I said about Jer being gay, yeah......just yeah. Jer brings up that Emily and k always hang out, Emily blushes ( k and Emily were too scared or something to call themselves a couple) and is just like ‘we’re not that close’ LIES anyway. And Jer is like ‘ I’m kinda Jelly of you two’ (he didn’t say jelly but ya know’) they talk a little more than Jer is like ‘I like K’s hair it’s kinda sexy’ this is where my brain sets of alarm bells. So we have 2 people with crushes on this not very attractive person and one that might be dating him. Now just to sound not mean, there are 6 people in this library (including the librarian) and 3 of them like this same dude that’s why I’m so surprised. Then I go down a spiral. -what if those jokes weren’t flirty and I’m just an idiot- - what if K is bi and likes Jer and Emily but not me-. Anyway it was a rough time. Now a new person enters the story, Fay. Fay is bi and in the same year as Jer and my sister. She comes to the library like 2 times a week and we walk home with her. I don’t like her but I don’t hate her. We were walking home talking about how it’s weird a 13 yo and a 16 yo go out and how it’s basically illegal if they have sex and the I was like ‘but there probably not doing that though so I guess it’s not’. And then Fay says that 6 mounts ago her and Emily had sex a few times after Emily broke up with her boyfriend. That was hard for me to hear. Although I’ve never even shown K that I’m even a little interest I’d always imagined that at the end of senior school I’d ask him out and that he would be my first boyfriend and we’d be together for 2 years and we’d be eachother’s first’s. 
But idk I’ve always struggled with expressing my feelings and I guess my sexuality. Going off topic here a little but I think I was maybe sexually abused by my female neighbour when I was 6, she was only 3 years older then me so I don’t know if it really counts and then I just found out this week that when I was 3 my female could tried to sexually assault me when she was 6 as a result of her abuse but I am kinda messed up by that. It’s weird because I think that led to me thinking I was bi because up until I found that out the only male ive even remotely been attracted to is K and I would always think ‘oh that girls pretty’ but I’m now realising that’s not the same ya know. Anyway I was kinda broke by what Fay said. Then quarantine happened. I thought about K probably a total of 24 hours throughout quarantine. Everything that mentioned love I would think of him and weather I liked him. We’ve just come back to school and this whole time I’ve been trying to avoid him at all costs. Especially looking at him because then I fall down the rabbit whole. He was sat right In front of me in science so how could I not. Remember I said that Emily had a sister in my year, well K was looking at her in science as if he wanted to say something to her. Idk what happened with them through quarantine because she’s now in college and the new library that was renovated is finished but it’s shut.
This is the last story lol. I was placed next to K in Spanish and I’m not kidding the first 2 lessons we did not even look at each other. K has been diagnosed with social anxiety and although I haven’t been diagnosed I’m ‘shy’ and by shy I mean I find it hard talking to people that don’t live in my house and get panic attack everyday some so bad I can’t feel my legs. Anyway we both are to awkward and scared to talk to each other. Except Friday when he whispers a joke in the middle of lesson and looks at me. Which wouldn’t be sick a big thing except it’s been 5 months since we have last spoken and 2 days where we were literally sharing a desk and haven’t said a word. He said a second joke in the lesson and asked to borrow my glue. This sounds so lame as I’m writing it but I was starting to think he hated me. Anyway I have no idea how I feel about him or him me and am struggling. I really miss him and his robot like voice and don’t know what to do. And before you say ‘ask him out, what have you got a to loose’ remember what I said about my anxiety. I have never shown interest in any other person but him and it’s scary so help what do I do. Btw I can’t start hanging out with him only in lessons because we are not in the same sort of social circles and I don’t even know if I like him. But I guess I cared enough to spend 50 mins on this.
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2020.09.18 04:55 alleal Garth Greenwell and the Mainstream Queer

I wrote this for A Swimming-Pool Library but wanted to share it here too. Warning: it's full of opinions.
It’s always interesting to me to see what kinds of queer fiction catch the attention of the mainstream. They seem to fall into a few different categories. The most common of these is the classic gay tragedy, such as Giovanni’s Room, Brokeback Mountain, and, more recently, A Little Life. Everyone loves a good tragedy, and queer people have the dubious honor of having one built right into their existence. Then, there are the innovative and experimental books, like Fun Home or The Argonauts, telling queer stories in queer ways that are exciting and unique. And finally, there’s what I’ve come to think of as the voyeur novel, exemplified by works like Less Than Zero and Last Exit to Brooklyn. These novels offer outside readers a glimpse into a mysterious queer world, a peek behind the moral curtain that obscures deviant cultural practices like cruising or prostitution. Behold, the queer in their natural habitat! Voyeur novels are like tourist attractions: readers slum it with the Other before retreating back to the safety and cleanliness of ‘the real world.’ It is in this last category that I place Garth Greenwell’s What Belongs to You.
What Belongs To You isn’t a bad book by any measure. It’s full of sleek and polished MFA prose, and features literary affects like single initials instead of names and no quotation marks, because who needs ’em? Its Bulgarian setting is peculiar to an American audience, and the narrator’s outcast status as foreigner offers an accessible, sympathetic connection to a broad range of readers. It was nominated for all kinds of awards, but in the end didn’t win any of them. No, it’s not a bad book at all. My complaint is that it’s precisely the type of queer book the mainstream has been conditioned to receive. Dysfunctional gay men pursuing elusive youths has been a staple of queer literature since they started allowing it to be published. Queer, Our Lady of the Flowers, The Thief’s Journal, City of Night, and Jack the Modernist are about that too, just to name a few. What Belongs To You wouldn’t be out of place in the slightest if it had been published 50+ years ago, so why are mainstream critics hailing it as a modern classic today? It’s precisely because the novel is not new, not innovative or unique that they say this. It’s safe. It sticks to the script. The sad fag blows a prostitute in a toilet stall then goes home to be sad. That’s a story they know what to do with. But we’re not like that anymore. Or, rather, we’re not only like that anymore. Queer life has evolved a lot since the ’70s, our stories should reflect that. And where Greenwell fails to do this in What Belongs to You, he succeeds in his second book, Cleanness.
In Cleanness, I see all the nuance that was missing from Greenwell’s first book. Same setting, same character, same problems, but all presented through a much more complex and variable lens. At times the narrator feels shame, but at others he feels pride. Sometimes he’s the teacher, sometimes the student. Confident and shy, included and rejected, in love and in lust, topping and bottoming; this time the narrator is a whole, real, queer person. The problem with What Belongs to You isn’t that it’s untrue (because it’s not), it’s that it’s incomplete. Cleanness is complete. And yet, it received nowhere near as much attention as Greenwell’s first novel. Now of course, we can’t be sure exactly why Cleanness didn’t make the same splash that What Belongs to You did, but I’ll tell you I suspect that it’s a little too queer for mainstream tastes. They know what to do with transgressive works, in-your-face wrongness of the Bret Easton Ellis variety. And they know what to do with sad queers, and they even know what to do with touching romances. But all of these at once? How can the piss-drinking submissive in “Gospodar” be out on an adorable date in “The Frog King”? How can the concerned and well-meaning teacher in “Mentor” be the same guy creeping on his student in “An Evening Out”? Are we supposed to love him or hate him? Pity him or be proud? There’s no easy answer and there shouldn’t be. There never is with a real person.
The mainstream wants a certain type of queer: an outsider, a tragic figure, a mirror for society. A character that can be reduced to a moral. We, the queer community, have a responsibility to deny them this. Their queer isn’t real. Their queer is about them, not about us. We must not be tricked into thinking otherwise. Our queer is… well, do we really know yet? Do we know what the modern queer looks like, really? I would say no, but we’re figuring it out. Just like so many of us spend years figuring out who we are after a lifetime in the closet, so too is our community attempting to discover a new cultural identity. But we can’t do that if we buy into the image of the mainstream queer. We can’t write for them, we need to write for us. Complex and multifaceted queers, queers that send the mainstream scurrying for their Love, Simons and Call Me By Your Names. Cruising and open relationships and age differences and genderfluidity and bondage and polyamory and difference. It’s not all good and it’s not all bad, but it’s all real. And that’s the only way we’ll get there.
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2020.09.17 15:25 Polishhearts Piotr walków -Gay dating in london and Polish hearts dating addict - Check me out on Grindr <3

Piotr walków -Gay dating in london and Polish hearts dating addict - Check me out on Grindr <3 submitted by Polishhearts to u/Polishhearts [link] [comments]

2020.09.16 17:44 StFrSe Horrible caretaker (sorry, long post!)

Howdy, so I’m a housekeeper (M) and there’s a caretaker (F) whom I’ll call Pat, my housekeeping partner (F) whom I’ll call Grace, and a new caretaker (F) whom I’ll call Linda. We all work at the same Memory Care Facility for people with Alzheimer’s, dementia, or other situations such as these.
First off there’s a couple things I need to set up before I go on.
  1. Housekeepers main purpose is to sanitize. What I mean by this is that us housekeepers will dust, sweep, mop, polish, disinfect, scrub showers and toilets, and so forth.
  2. If there is a mess (such as fecal matter on the ground or something) the caretakers are REQUIRED to pick/wipe/clean it up, then call for housekeeping to sanitize. Housekeeping does NOT clean this up. This has been told to every single employee, housekeeping or not, several times over the past year.
Okay now on to the good stuff.
Grace, who has worked at this place for more than 4 years before me, has told me several times that if a caretaker has not taken care of their part of cleaning up a mess, to not clean it up. The Executive Director along with our Business Office Manager has told this to not only me but to all of the other employees as well. Well this doesn’t stop Pat, oh no. She will call me on the walkie talkie (WT) when there’s a mess. I’ll grab my gear, get to the location, and see what needs to be done. I’d say at least 80% of the time, there’s a massive pile of human waste there. Every time I confront her about this, she will say “Oh no, you can just clean it, I’m busy with the residents.” and then walk away. I have stopped her several times and said “No, you need to do your part here and clean this.” to which she will just walk away. I usually just clean it up, but I’ve started to get so fed up with this I’ll just leave it. Pat knows she can’t complain to the higher-ups, because she will get fired back on by them. How does she respond to me doing my job correctly? Let me tell you.
She first started spreading false rumors about me. One of which was that I was dating her sister. It’s funny because Pat is Indian, and my GF is Japanese and does NOT have a single sister. (Also, the only reason I know about this rumor is because there are two fantastic caretakers who tell me everything that involves me, housekeeping, or anything else I need to know.) Now this rumor seems childish, which it is. But she’s started upping the ante. She’s started saying that I’m secretly gay (which I have no problem with gay people or whatever, it’s just not true). She’s said I’m gay, but dating her sister (I’m not) so I could hide my “gayness” from everyone. I have gay/lesbian people in my family so that doesn’t bother me, but the false rumors do.
Next thing she will do is call me for the absolute littlest thing possible. She dropped a paper towel on the ground? Hop on the WT and say “Housekeeping!” Can’t remember where she put her bleach even though she simply broke the spray bottle and doesn’t want to get in trouble? “Housekeeping someone took my bleach, I need yours.” (And never gives it back to me when I ask) Literally think of a situation where you could use an ounce of effort to fix something, and she will call me to do it. Once she told ME to help a resident out of his wheelchair, while I’m legally not allowed to touch the residents unless there is an emergency! I quickly said “no, that’s your job.”
One of the last things is that I along with other caretakers overheard her tell a caretaker in training, Linda, “tell the male housekeeper to do whatever you need him to. He will do it. Just make sure you are stern and dominant.” Which by the way, that’s pretty creepy.
Anyways, I have more specific stories and tales about Pat. If anyone is interested, I will post those as well.
So sorry for the mega long post!
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2020.08.31 23:14 Jrubas My Friend's Bed Was Haunted by Sexual Energy

I was signing autographs in a downtown Richmond book boutique when Henry came in. I had been there for over four hours, sitting at a folding table scribbling my name on the inside covers of endless copies of Night Terrors, and was exhausted. My arm ached and my head throbbed. Meeting a perpetual flow of fans, many of them gushing, is hell to me. Don’t get me wrong, I love them dearly, but social situations tend to repel me, and actually engaging people I don’t know is an awkward near impossibility.
It was nearing one, dark and nasty without, and I was longing for a nice long nap in my hotel room when Henry’s turn came. I thought that the woman before him, a middle-aged blond in a brown leather jacket, would never leave. But thankfully Mr. Preston, the owner of the shop, ushered her away in his prissy manner.
I smiled at the man whom I did not recognize as Henry. He was tall and pale, his wavy black hair limp and lusterless, the flesh of his face tight and his eyes an unhealthy pink which bespoke sleepless nights. He smiled wearily yet warmly.
Without a word he passed me his copy of Night Terrors. “And how are you today?” I asked as I sat the book down, my blue Sharpie pen, the second one of the day, poised.
“Just peachy,” he croaked, and I at once knew the voice. I looked up, and Henry was still grinning as if through pain.
“Henry!” I cried happily, and extended my hand. He took it, and it was like a block of ice.
I and Henry were like brothers since time out of mind; our parents were high school friends who lived next to each other in the Pickett subdivision on Thomas Street, and from diapers we were always together, on play dates, camping trips, and backyard pool parties. We were inseparable all through our school years, and only parted, tearfully and grudgingly, when I left Picketts Meade to study at UVA in 1997. Since then, we had seen very little of each other, as I lived mostly in New York City and he in the house willed to him by his childless aunt and uncle.
“Hey, man,” he said, “what’s goin on?”
“Not much,” I said, “same old stuff. Working and all that. What about you?”
He shrugged. “Same here, pretty much. Listen, are you free this afternoon?”
“Sure, what’s up?”
“I got a ghost,” he said, as though the words were kidney stones.
“Sure, I’d be happy to come by.”
Henry smiled again. “Thanks. You know where my aunt’s old place is, right?”
“Ahhh, no, I forgot.”
“Okay, here.” Henry pulled out his wallet and opened it. In the translucent slot where preening fathers proudly put pictures of their children, there was a faded Polaroid of two boys, one tall and skinny, the other short and fat, at a lake on a summer day in 1988, mugging it up with their arms thrown around the other’s shoulder. I had the same one in my wallet.
Henry produced a small piece of creased paper and, with my pen, jotted down the directions.
“I’ll be there at around four or so,” I said, sticking the paper into my blazer’s breast pocket.
“Thanks a million, man, I can’t tell you the kinda shit I been goin through.”
“I can imagine.”
“Good book; is it number one?”
I snickered. “Ahead of Glenn Beck? I wish.”
Henry shrugged. “Still a classic. I can’t believe some of the shit. All of it’s real?”
“As you and I,” I replied. I jotted down my name and a small, personal message onto the inside cover, and handed it back to Henry.
“I’ll see you,” he said. “I’ll be there,” I responded with a smile.
Almost two hours later I left the bookstore by the back door, emerged into a narrow ally of grimy brick walls, and carefully crept toward busy 5thstreet. Above, the sky was malevolently silent.
Before leaving the relative safety of the alley, I looked both ways along the sidewalk, and found it empty save for several rushing, bundled forms. For a moment I was reminded of those old shots of The Beatles running from mad throngs of screaming women through the streets of London, and smiled.
I stepped into a freezing gust and hurried up the sidewalk, passing drab storefronts darkened by the gloomy afternoon light. A Ford Focus passed by on the street in a splash of puddled rain, its red taillights glowing satanically in the mist.
Ahead, a brave hotdog vendor, possibly a transplanted New Yorker, stood tensely behind his cart, ready to feed the world. He offered me a taste of his wares, and the almost desperate imploring of his voice touched me. Imagining poverty and mounting bills, I bought a small fountain Coke even though I wasn’t thirsty, and almost as soon as I was out of sight I cast the cup into a metal trash bin, the clanking ice cubes within having sapped the heat from my hand.
Slowly the scenery bled into one of the residential. Dirty Brownstone tenements marched dismally into the ashen day, their crumbling stoops guarded by rusted metal sentries overflowing with rank refuse.
I finally came to the small lot where I had left my Jeep in-between a pick-up truck and a hatchback. The latter was gone, replaced by a small red Beetle. I fished the keys from my pocket and opened the driver side door.
Behind the wheel, I started the engine and the radio came to life with one bland Taylor Swift song or another. Before leaving I slipped Krokus’ Change of Address into the CD player, and slowly cruised back the way I had come.
Several minutes later I took a sloping onramp and met the babbling interstate; before I joined the flow I waited for several large Mac trucks to scream by in their shrouds of water mist. The meager Richmond skyline stretched away to the east, interrupted only by the wide river which bisects the city. Maybe it was the mood and light of the afternoon, but the city seemed a deserted necropolis, the buildings bizarre Druid ruins rising black against the sky.
Once on the interstate I noticed that several idiots cars next to mine were busy blabbering into their cell-phones or texting. I’m not the kind of guy who wants to ban this and that, or the kind of asshole who preaches his opinion to everybody, but I know what can happen on a freeway when someone wants to whip out the old Droid and chat.
One girl, with wet black hair and dressed in a loose white t-shirt, flipped me off when I motioned hang up and drive.
Women, I thought with a grin, they taste good…but the heartburn!
I soon took rural Exit 154 and coasted into the parking lot of a small roadside gas station fed by a narrow hillside lane. I pulled under the gas-pump shelter and killed Marc Storace in the middle of Burning up the Night. I searched my hip pocket and checked the directions again. The name of the town was Fairfield, not too far north of the city.
I got out into the damp and filled the jeep up with juice, wincing at the price. With that done, I crossed the open space between the pumps and the store, my hair dampening, and entered.
After waiting for a white man in a mossy oak camo cap to buy a six pack of Bud Ice and a black woman to purchase a pack of condoms and tampons (an ungodly mix, if you ask me), it came my turn. The wispy old man behind the counter, wearing country regulation suspenders over his button up work shirt, studied me for a long moment.
“Hey, you’re that writer fella, aintcha?” he asked with a rough smile, revealing that his teeth were mostly black or tarnished gold.
Despite a swelling of pride in my chest, I wanted desperately to avoid an embarrassing scene.
“Hm. You look a lot like ‘im. She loves all that damn ghost huntin’ garbage.”
I paid for the gas, and the old man wished me a good afternoon with a crooked grin.
Once back in my car, I again studied the directions, trying to absorb them so that I wouldn’t have to constantly consult them in transit.
Feeling confident that I could make it on my own, I started up the engine and followed the ascending byway toward Fairfield.
I soon left behind all urban pretense and found myself speeding through low hills and tiny hamlets made up of slanted wood structures decades past their prime. It had begun to rain more steadily. Crossing the murky Roman River, I saw that it had overflowed its banks.
The winding lane took me past yet more hilly farmland enclosed by strands of barbed wire, putting me slightly in mind of northern England. When I came to the outer limits of Fairfield, which sat across another, smaller, swollen river, I was greeted by a white board sign proclaiming it as The Nicest Town in America.
Main Street, lined with gray brick shops dating from the 1920s, sank down into the rest of the town, from which a white church spire rose into the air, and a blue water tower next to a tall brick schoolhouse loomed supernaturally forth from the thick valley mist. The sidewalk boasted fiery trees, the embers of which carpeted the wet concrete.
At the four-way intersection, the only cars that I met were a station wagon going to the east part of town, a minivan heading back the way I had come, and an SUV going down into the heart of the town, which lied spread before the hill like a fog enshrouded dream.
I took the left and followed the street for a time, passing a small doctor’s office and the police station. The big roll-top doors of the local volunteer fire department were open, and I glimpsed several men in the gloom lazily wiping down the sleeping green dragon within. A group of children struggled down the sidewalk with crammed backpacks dragging along the wet pavement. A boy on a ten-speed bike shot past them and hung a sharp right, taking a small dead-end road ending at the foot of the hill. In the rear view mirror a large yellow school grinded to a halt, the red lights on its mounted stop sign blinking rhythmically. Teenagers tumbled out and hurried across.
Lee Street was an odd mix of ranch and Victorian houses, all beautiful and tastefully enclosed by hedges or withering gardens. A few of the larger homes were sectioned off with low stone walls waist high to a man.
The last house on the left was tall and narrow, dating back at least to the latter half of the 1890s. With spires and gingerbread trim it affected a stately air.
I parked along the street and sat for a moment, memories washing over me. I and Henry had come here several summers during our childhood. Being unable to have children, Jo and Oscar doted on us so much it was almost cloying. They were rabid antique collectors, and spent thirty happy years hoarding history together before Flight 93 went down over Pennsylvania on the eleventh of September, 2001.
I killed the engine and got out into a brisk slap of wind. After waiting for a minivan to swoosh past, I crossed the street. The grass along the flagstone walk was encroachingly tall, and I wondered if Henry’s ghost had hidden his lawnmower.
I bounded up the porch and knocked on the door. I waited in the cold for a moment, a wind from the west raking my flesh. Finally, as I cocked my fist to knock again, the door opened, and was filled with Henry, dressed as he had been at the bookstore.
“Hey, man” he greeted and moved aside.
“Long time no see,” I smiled. Stepping across the threshold, I was immediately struck by the heaviness of the atmosphere, crushing down on me like the world upon Atlas’s shoulders. I staggered, and Henry at one grabbed my arm and helped steady me.
“Uh-oh,” he said, “I don’t like that.”
“I’m fine,” I lied, looking suspiciously about myself, “just tired.” I didn’t at once remember what such a black heft meant, but I did know that it wasn’t good. At all.
“Well, if you wanna go back…”
“Nah,” I dismissed, “I’m alright.”
“Okay,” Henry said and led me from the shadowy foyer and into a wide parlor. A large bay window, an ugly modern addition, sat across the room, uncurtained. Save for tall, dusty bookshelves along either wall, the only other furnishings in the room were a couch piled with tangled blankets and a pillow, and two armchairs.
Henry showed me to one of the chairs and took the one across from me.
“So, what’s up? How’s life treating you?”
I sighed. “Alright. I hate the touring, though. I can’t stand being on the road.”
“Ah,” he dismissed me with a wave of the hand, “you always were a little homebody. I love the open road. Nothing like it. You want a drink?”
I nodded.
“Coke,” he warned me.
“Better be.”
He laughed and moved off to the kitchen, leaving me alone in the room. The dark feeling pressed down on me harder than it had been, compressing my chest. I tried to take a deep breath, but was unable. It was like standing on a high butte overlooking a strange plain in a dark world, the air thin and sour.
Henry returned with two Cokes. He handed me one and sat back down. “Sorry they’re not cold. I just bought ‘em on the way back.”
“That’s fine,” I said, opening mine and taking a long drink. Henry sat his between his legs.
“I saw you on Ghost Hunters last month,” he said with something like pride, “I was over at my old girlfriend’s house and when your mug popped out, I about went crazy. “Hey, I know that guy!””
My appearance on the popular SYFY Channel show had been little more than a publicity stunt engineered by my agent. I was against it from the first, but ending up going on anyway. The target was a 13th Century castle on an Irish bluff overlooking the crashing sea. Supposedly, a family of werewolves had lived there in the sixteen hundreds.
“They’re a sham,” I said, glancing around as if expecting a hostile apparition to materialize. Maybe I was.
“Those attention whores,” I said, referring to the ‘ghost hunters’. “There weren’t any ghosts. It was all faked. The noises. The mist. All of it.
“I figured,” Henry said, “they usually are.”
“I guess,” I looked around.
“Yeah.” Henry finished off his Coke and sat the empty can at his foot.
“So, what have you been doing?” I asked, “just hanging out?”
“Yeah,” he said, “aunt Jo and uncle Oscar weren’t rich. They had money, but not much. The way the recession’s going, I’m probably gonna have to go back to work soon.”
“Sometimes I wish I could just stop writing and investigating and all that and just live off my books’ proceeds,” I confided, “live the life without doing the work.”
Henry chuckled. “You’re lucky; you got a kick-ass job. I’m most likely gonna end up at Food-Lion or something.”
“Gotta start somewhere,” I said. “Maybe we can write a novel together.”
Both of us had tried as children to write our own horror stories. Henry’s were mostly better than mine.
“Maybe,” he seemed to taste the idea.
I opened my mouth to reply, but a stiff gust of wind slammed into the house, and I jolted.
Henry laughed. “Scared?”
I shook my head. “No, not really. I just…well, what exactly are we dealing with, here?”
Henry sobered, his face darkening. “I…I been thinking how to word this for a while now.” He paused. “You ever hear that phrase La petite mort?”
I missed a beat. “What?”
“You know, that French metaphor? It refers to a state of euphoria after you “finish.””
“Yeah, I know.”
Henry sat grasping for a moment. “People believe that some kind of spiritual lifeforce is…expelled when you cum. Somehow that’s like dying or something.”
“Uh-huh,” I nodded awkwardly.
“And in Ghosts and Ghouls, you said that some people think a ghost is just…leftover human energy. Right?”
“The atheists and agnostics in the field, yes.”
“Do you think it’s possible that…that release of energy can leave a…a ghostly residue?”
I laughed. “Henry, that’s just a metaphor; it doesn’t mean anything.”
“Are you sure?”
I opened my mouth, but closed it again. I couldn’t honestly say that I was.
“What…what makes you ask that?”
“It’s my bed,” he replied darkly.
“Your bed?”
He nodded. “Remember Sarah Kerns?”
For a moment I drew a blank, and then an angular face framed in raven hair materialized before my mind’s eye.
“Sure,” I said, “your girlfriend in eighth grade. What about her?”
“Remember how she moved over the summer, before we started high school?”
I nodded. Her father was in some kind of business that forced him to relocate often. I can’t remember what it was, though.
“The night before she left, she came over to my house and we did it...”
“Alright,” I urged, and then it dawned on me. “You still have the same bed, don’t you?”
He shrugged. “Never saw a good reason to get rid of it.”
“And you’ve…done a lot in it, huh?”
“A lot,” he admitted.
“And now you think…what, all that combined energy has created a sort of ghost?”
“Look, I know it’s crazy, but just hear me out, okay?”
Henry took a deep breath and began.
Several weeks before crying out to me for help, he told me, he had been lying awake in bed. It was a windy night and he was as far from sleep as a man can get, so, as he watched the darkened ceiling, he let his mind drift unfettered. He had always had a fertile imagination, and was entertaining himself with undisclosed fantasies when, all of a sudden, the foot of the bed lurched to one side, as though booted by an angry WWE star after an in-ring betrayal.
“Man, that scared the shit outta me,” Henry said. “I froze up and just laid there for a minute. Then it happened again, and this time I got knocked off.”
Frightened, Henry jumped up, fell in the sheets tangled at his feet, and flew down the stairs.
“I sat here in the living room for a little while. After a half hour or so, I decided it was a nightmare and went back up. In the room, I flipped on the light switch and…”
He was quiet for a long moment, looking down at his ashen hands. “And there was a fuckin dead girl spread out on the bed, covered in blood and shit.”
I gasped softly at this, my heart freezing in mid beat.
“You’re sure?” I asked incredulously.
He nodded without looking up. “Yeah. And she looked like Hanna Giles…you remember her, right?”
I did. She was a cheerleader during school, a tall drink of blond perfection. She and Henry spent much of the 11th grade getting hot and heavy together before he grew bored and found another conquest.
“And…and she…sat up, her fuckin eyes were black and she had these long Dracula fangs. She opened up her legs and…fucking blood gushed out.”
He stopped at my hiss of horror. “It looked like…you know, in The Shinning, when that elevator opens up in the beginning?”
I nodded, my mouth slightly agape.
“I saw that shit and lost my mind. I ran out the front door and down the street. Spent the rest of the night in a booth at the diner, too afraid to come home.”
In the morning, Henry stretched out in the parlor.
“I was having dinner the next day. A buffalo chicken Hungry Man. So, I was sitting at the kitchen table eating, when something above my head, in the room, crashed against the floor. And right after, I heard this long, high pitched laugh.”
Stiff with terror, Henry remained unmoving at the table for nearly an hour before packing up and going to a motel for a few days.
“I was starting to think it was a nightmare, but when that shit happened…”
Henry eventually returned, convinced that the “ghosts”, while frightening, were harmless.
“So, one night, I got brave and went back upstairs to see what would happen.”
After several uneventful hours, Henry was on the border of sleep when something, something cold and dry, wrapped around his throat.
“It felt like hands, little…you know, a woman’s hands.”
The world grayed as Henry clawned at the phantom hands to no avail. He nearly collapsed into death before they suddenly and inexplicably spared him.
“That was the other night. I was about to leave, go get a motel or something, but I heard you were coming down, so I thought I’d see if you could help me.”
For a long moment I sat in brooding silence.
In 1999, I left school to work for a noted regional paranormal researcher named John Haggis. I accompanied him on many outings, most of them busts. Only three confirmed cases of the genuinely supernatural came across our desk in the three years I worked with him, one of them being the demonic haunting of a bar in Headwaters, a tiny hamlet nestled in the Shenandoah foothills southwest of Harrisonburg.
I learned several things from our experience there. One: Demons despise the presence of a professional. Two: While ghosts can, on extremely rare occasions, possess human beings, only demons can shapeshift and actually harm someone without the use of a human agent.
“Have…have you ever smelled sulfur here?” I asked, my voice natural, at least to my own ears.
“Rotten eggs? No, why?”
“You’ve been left alone outside the room, right?”
“Yeah. What about the sulfur?” he seemed impatient.
I ignored him and looked from one shadowy corner to another, the house bathed in a sour, uneasy silence. I was shocked to find myself wanting to get as away from the house as I could.
“Henry,” I drew, my eyes darting apprehensively, “there…”
I stopped. How would he take hearing that a demon was in his house? But was it really a demon we were dealing with? I couldn’t be sure; I’m not, after all, a demonologist.
“What?” he asked, his tone low and worried.
If it was, then it appeared to be attached to the bed somehow, like a ghost to a favorite rocking chair…
“…I doubt that your ghost is made of girl goo.” I at length flashed a smile, hoping that it didn’t look too fake. “I’ve heard of similar cases, and they are relatively easy to deal with.”
“Really?” Henry’s face brightened for the first time all day, and his tone was one of a child in the presence of a shyster birthday-party magician.
“Yeah,” I said, “no problem. Tomorrow I’ll call some people and they’ll conduct…sort of an exorcism. It’ll be a breeze.”
Henry sighed, relieved. “Okay.”
I looked again from corner to corner. “Hey, you want to go and get some dinner, my treat?”
Henry smiled again, his dark eyes alight. “Sure.”
We took my car, and drove off into the thickening gloom. Main Street was busier than it had been when I entered town; it was past six, and people were returning home from work in droves.
“Take a left up here,” Henry said as we approached the four-way, “and go for about…five miles. Place called Ryan’s.”
I nodded, lost in thought. I would have to call Tom Youngblood, the only demonologist in the Richmond area, in the morning. And maybe I would have to call the Catholic Church in town, too. Then again, the church has tried in recent years to distance itself from the supernatural.
I took the left, and descended down into the heart of Fairfield. Queerly, about a mile of hillside between the upper and lower sections had been left undeveloped, and was currently a hopeless tangle of dead grass.
“Man, I feel like a weight’s been lifted,” Henry said as we passed the dark shops and rain sluiced sidewalks, empty save for the phantom trees along the edge. “You can really do all of this tomorrow?”
“Yeah,” I said confidently. I took a deep breath, and seemed to blow away all of the mounting worry crushing my chest. I only had to call Tom and a priest, and they would take it from there. They were experts. It might not be an easy break, but it would get done. Demons were actually weak in the presence of religious men; which is why I abandoned my former atheism.
“Good. I can’t wait to get this shit behind me. It’s been a living hell, you know?”
I nodded, and then realized that it was probably too dark for Henry to see. “Yeah, I bet it’ll feel really good.”
“Like a million bucks,” Henry said.
“And…get rid of the damn bed. I don’t think that what we’re dealing with is…what you thought, but just burn it. It’s possible that the ghost is attached to it for some reason.”
“Way ahead of you, man,” Henry said. “I’m gonna go down to Mattress Warehouse and get me a new one tomorrow.”
At the end of town, just before the beginning of the dark, wet woods, I slowed at the traffic light, pulling to a stop alongside a school bus; the small lights affixed to the ceiling within were on against the dark. I saw a few dark silhouettes through the rectangular windows, and ascertained from their distorted shapes that they belonged to the high school’s football team.
“And…don’t have all your fun in one place, okay?” I said as we got back underway, the bus falling behind in the darkness.
“I ain’t gonna have that kinda fun for a long time.”
“Yeah, bullshit,” I jested in hopes of further lightening the mood, “you can’t go a week without having sex with someone…or something.”
Henry chuckled. “Yeah? I once went a month without doin your mom.”
“She needed that long to stop laughing at your…handicap.”
Henry laughed. “Okay. Just wait till we get there; take you in the bathroom and show you what’s up.”
I snorted. “What’s limp.”
“It won’t be limp when I shove it down…”
The restaurant, a sparkling oasis cloaked in primal black, loomed so quickly from the darkness that I nearly missed the turn.
“Alright,” Henry said after I had slid us into a slanted parking spot facing the empty road, his penis forgotten, “let’s get some grub.”
“You look like a German Jew,” I said as we got out of the car, “you need a good meal.”
“Yeah, thanks, mom,” Henry said as we crossed the parking lot. Through the big front windows, we could see happy families sharing joyful meals in the warm brightness.
We came to the double doors, and both held them open for the shuffling passage of an elderly couple. “Thank you,” the old man rasped and nodded as he helped his wife past us and toward a silver Cadillac parked in one of the closest handicap spots. They were immediately followed by two teenage girls in gym shorts and pink tops.
“What is it with kids dressing like that when it’s cold?” I whispered as we entered the restaurant, assaulted at once by the good odors of many steaming, mingling foods.
“If you got it flaunt it,” Henry reckoned.
We walked up to the long lunch counter and took cups, silverware and plastic trays from a hotplate guarded from inconsiderate sneezers by smudged plastic. We waited behind a party of rowdy college students to pay the casher.
We paid the chipper blond behind the register and were shown by a young sleepy eyed man in a red t-shirt and black slacks to a booth along the far wall of the room, mercifully away from the main population. Henry was immediately off to fix himself a plate at the buffet.
I sat at the booth for a moment, looking around the brightly lit room. It was crowded with families, mostly, passing food and laughing over their tables.
After another moment of inventorying how many people I would have to pass to get to the drink machine, I got up and moved to the Coke island. Apart from the dispenser there sat a plain metal canister marked with the picture of a tall, frosty glass of chocolate milk looming forward like a favorite uncle. I considered for a moment, and finally decided to get the milk, the likes of which I haven’t tasted since I was a child.
As I drew the dark liquid into my clear cup, a beefy older man in a brown leather jacket walked unthinkingly up to the machine and filled his cup with Sprite, all the while gasping softly to himself about someone named Mony-Mony.
Sidestepping a yellow WET FLOOR sign at the head of a nasty spill, I went back to the booth where Henry sat, bent protectively over a plate of fried chicken and breaded shrimp. I took my plate and quickly filled it up with French fries, several times nearly colliding with a young boy in small glasses examining each bright pile of food as if he would die if he did not detect the poison on his choices. At the booth I splattered a liberal amount of Tabasco sauce on the golden potatoes and dug in, my chocolate milk standing dutifully by should I need its aid.
“Remember Donny West?” Henry asked around a mouthful of food. I nodded. Donny had been one of our friends as kids before his mother moved the family to West Virginia. A beefy kid with red hair and deep freckles.
“Yeah. How can I forget?”
“He died.”
“What?” I asked, a bit of fry falling from my mouth and landing on the plate.
Henry nodded and swallowed. “I talked to his sister on Facebook, and she said he was drinking and wrecked his car into a tree a couple years ago. Took two of his friends with him.”
“That’s horrible,” I said numbly. Though I had not seen Donny in years, to hear that a once close friend was dead broke my heart.
“You remember what he did on April Fool’s Day that one time?” I asked Henry after a long, respectful moment of silence.
Henry nodded. “He had balls to do that.”
Donny, much more a practical joker than even Henry, had run the Stars and Bars of the Confederacy up the flag pole before school started that day. What made it even funnier were the facts that no one even noticed until lunch, and that the school sat right on the main highway in Picketts Meade.
“Yeah,” I sighed, black, cancerous nostalgia flooding me. “The good old days.”
We then lapsed into a comfortable silence. After savagely stripping the meat from a chicken bone, Henry wandered off to treat himself to a cold dessert. I finished the last of my fries and polished off the chocolate milk, my burning mouth greedily absorbing the cool liquid.
After a return trip to the machine, meeting once again the boy who had been diligently studying for his buffet safety PhD (he wasn’t quiet as conscientious when it came to Coca-Cola), I placed myself in my seat and awaited Henry. He soon returned empty-handed.
“They all sucked,” he declared.
I did not reply, but suddenly realized that the ice cream machine was next to the soda and chocolate milk fountains.
Suddenly, from across the room, there came a loud racket, drawling the puzzled stares of patrons in the gulf between walls. From a door came a line of people dressed in red shirts and black pants. The person at the head of the rank, a rather fetching teen goth with long midnight hair and a generous bosom, held something in her hands, something aflame, for her strong angler face was awash in orange. The Ryan’s troops behind her were clapping.
With mortification I saw them making a B-line toward our table like a personified children’s show choo-choo. Now all of the bemused eaters were looking toward me and Henry.
“You bastard,” I said, turning to Henry. He was smiling and clapping flourishingly. I broke out in my own grin, my cheeks afire. “Oh you son of a bitch; real funny.”
The Ryan’s Birthday Army now surrounded my half of the booth, leering over me like grinning psychos and clapping madly. I hung my head in embarrassment as they sat a flaming birthday cake on the table before me. “Bastard,” I muttered, lowering my head, realizing that now all of the other patrons too were looking at me and clapping.
Then the singing started.
I could just imagine Henry going up to our hostess and stage whispering across the counter, his hand shielding his mouth from prying lip readers, Pissst; it’s his birthday, pointing in my direction.
Coming out of the Ryan’s parking lot nearly half an hour later, I took a right on the rain swept street and followed it back to town past several large comfortable southern homes boasting screened in front porches and spotlighted flags. Most of these were protected from the street by rusted chin link fences.
We were silent and content, our stomachs full.
Finally desirous of breaking the silence, but too stuffed with food and lazy to speak, I switched on the radio, picking up a station from southern Maryland. After a “local” newscast about a New York mobster choking to death in a King George pizza joint and the discovery of a well-known radical poet shot dead in a D.C. parking garage, Cyndi Lauper came on with Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.
“Your song,” Henry croaked from the passenger seat.
I changed the station. The Culture Club was singing about a Church of the Poisoned Mind.
“Damn, must be your night,” Henry snickered from the darkness.
“Shut up,” I replied, hitting the scan button; the radio settled for a station playing a Seether song.
Henry laughed. “I meant you like eighties music. I wasn’t trying to say you’re gay…not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
Pulling to the end of Henry’s street, I noticed that we had left none of the lights on when we departed; the thought of waltzing through the door into the pitch black slightly uneased me.
I thought of asking Henry to stay with me at the Marriot in Richmond rather than me staying with him, but quickly decided against it; we’d be safe in the parlor.
Putting down my own childish reluctance, I parked the car at the curb and killed the engine, shutting Kanye West off in mid-rant.
We entered the house and immediately repaired to the parlor, where Henry took care of stoking a warm fire into existence.
That done, he came back to his chair and sank with a pleasured sigh. “So, you gonna write about this?”
To be honest, the thought hadn’t crossed my mind. “Maybe,” I said. Of course I would. Would it make it into my next book? It had a better chance than some of the other cases I had. People love their supernatural when it’s really weird.
“Well…” Henry said, but was interrupted by a terrible crash from overhead, which shook the house and caused us to jerk in surprised fear.
“There it is,” he shivered.
Another long bang sounded upstairs, as if something had thumped to the floor.
I swallowed around a lump in my throat, and opened my mouth, but was forestalled by another loud crash, this one followed by a stomach-piercing moan.
“Maybe we should go,” I stammered, a sudden bubble of stark fear overwhelming my cool rationality.
Henry licked his lips and swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing.
I looked appraisingly up at the smooth ceiling above my head, partly hidden by the gloom. There was another thump that stopped my heart and froze my blood. A shower of fine plaster rained down upon me like hard snow, and I quickly averted my eyes to avoid it.
“Henry?” I panted breathlessly, wrestling with my own galloping fear.
“Fuck this,” Henry affirmed and moved to stand, “let’s…”
Henry had been whispering, as if worried about disturbing his inconsiderate guest, so I was able to hear the soft, terrible footfall. It was as if an electric shock ran through me, reducing my bones to jelly.
I heard it again, louder this time.
Henry’s eyes were wide. “Was that…?” he whispered superstitiously.
I gulped and nodded. “It sounded like it…
From the dark upstairs hall there came a soft, fugitive creak. Henry was now fully standing, his wiry body tense and rigid.
“Hennnryyyyyy!” drifted a thin and ghostly greeting.
“Jesus Christ!” I exclaimed, and bolted to my feet. I turned to the dark threshold into the rest of the hostile house, and saw nothing but playing shadows.
“Hennnryyyy, baaaabyyyyyyy!”
I spun on my heels. “We have to get the hell out of here!” I whispered incoherently, my mind reeling. There was no hope of using the front door. We would have to pass the stairs…
Henry stood slack in place, his eyes wide and seeming to vibrate with terror.
There was a more confident footfall from halfway down the staircase, and a definite swish like that of a passing priest’s cassock.
“Come on!” I screamed, my fear boiling over. I desperately regarded the window beyond Henry’s chair. It appeared wide enough for both of us to escape side-by-side.
I grabbed Henry’s wrist, but pulling him was like trying to move a wooden post set deeply in the ground.
“Come on, we gotta go, NOW!!” I screamed franticly, hearing the loud moan of the last step. Henry shook his head as if shaking away a dream and looked at me with frightened, pleading eyes. But before a word could pass between us he turned back to the threshold.
And screamed.
Hearing the horrible, damned-soul quality of his voice broke my resolve and nearly my mind. It was the high-pitched shriek of a child on finally seeing the thing under its bed and finding it far worse than imagined; it was the scream of a sinner being shown into his new abode in hell; it was the pitiful cry of a madman.
Fueled by mindless animal terror, I sprang for the window.
Forearms thrown protectively over my face, I crashed through with a cry, and sailed into the damp night in a shower of broken glass, my stomach throbbing in my throat. I hit the grassy ground with an umph and staggered to my feet, my knees watery and quivering.
Behind me, the laughter of madness turned into the orgasm of agony.
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2020.08.27 10:33 anonymous-1234565 Am I a femboy?

So I just recently found this subreddit and immediately became interested in it and it got me curious as to if I was a femboy. Also before you read this, I was born a male, I am very comfortable being a male, I don’t want to be female, I’m not a transgender (I don’t know if I needed to say this or not, I’m just putting it out there now). I just want to wear feminine items.
For as long as I remember, I have been interested in typical feminine things. However, growing up in my family I learned early on that these things I was interested in, needed to be kept secret. My family hates anything that is not “normal” to them. The things they think is “normal” is stuff like “people should stick with their own color and date opposite genders”, meaning whites should date whites, blacks date blacks, and guys should date girls. They really can’t stand gays or transgender people either (to the point one family member said that trans people should get their own bathroom that was secretly a gas chamber. This was when I realized how bad my family is by the way).
My parents can be sitting in the living room watching TV when a gay couple comes on during a commercial or actual show, they either turn the tv off, change the channel, or gripe about how gays are ruining TV, they always say the same thing as well, “I ain’t watching this gay shit”. They literally boycotted a soup company because they had a gay couple on their commercial around the time the Star Wars sequels was just starting to be advertised. Well after growing up like this, I never showed interest in anything they might consider feminine out of fear of how they would react.
Though things did change a little when I was in middle school and the feminine interest showed up again. So one time, I was home alone, when I had to use the bathroom. When I got in there, I found some lipgloss and decided to try it on. As soon as I got it on, it instantly felt right, like “I was supposed to wear this” and stuff. So I would try other forms of makeup any chance I could, as long as it was able to be washed off in the shower (I would rub some of my hands and then wash them to see if it came off naturally or if I had to scrub it off) until I tried mascara. When I got to school the next day a girl asked if I was had makeup on to which I replied no. She then said it must have been because I was in a shadow she thought my eyes seemed darker. After I got home I also found out that my sister got an eye infection, that is when I learned not to share mascara, but as it turned out she used something different than I did so I didn’t cause the eye infection. But after that I realized that I could easily get caught if I was careless, I stopped for a while.
Time went on and I didn’t do anything again until the end of high school when my interest sparked again. This time I had to wear feminine clothes, so when I was home alone or doing laundry in the basement, sometimes I would try on my sisters bras and underwear just to see how it felt. I loved the wearing it and that same feeling of “I need to be wearing this” sparked back up. One time my sister hurt her leg and had to stay in my room a bit, and I in hers (her room was upstairs and mine wasn’t, so it was better for her leg to be in my room) so, cause the entire upstairs was mine for a little bit, I tried on a bunch of stuff I never could have. It again felt right. Time went on and I never had the chance to dress up again.
As of last year I was a junior in college (now a senior) and living on campus away from my family, and decided I would try nail polish. So I tried to nervously asked a friend for help, and all I could say was I like her nail color. I eventually was able to ask her to paint my toenails one day and she did agree; however, when she went to apply it, I got super dizzy, my vision got dark, I fell backwards and hit the ground when my vision came back, I believe that I passed out due to fear and anxiety I had developed because of how I was raised.
I have also tried asking a friend for makeup help, but because of the same anxiety and fear, I can only get out, I like your makeup (I always plan on saying the same thing, “I like your makeup, would you be willing to help me with mine”, but I can only get out the first part) so I posted something similar asking how I could get over my anxiety so I can ask many times because the only other option was to learn through makeup tutorials on YouTube which I find hard to follow.
I also have started to have reoccurring dreams were I get my makeup done by people (I have also posted these dreams before so just look on my profile). Well, I took these dreams to mean that I still want to do all this stuff and I thought about it more and I really do. I want to start wearing makeup and cute comfy clothes. However, I still don’t wear them because I’m afraid of how my peers would react just because of how I grew up and experienced how cruel and hateful some people can be to people just being themselves. I feel sorry for those who’ve received hate like my family has given before.
So does this make me a femboy?
P.S. I’m sorry if, at any point in this, I offended someone. I’m not trying to get people angry or anything, I was just telling my own story and why I’m confused and why I’m asking if this makes me a femboy. I am also new to this term (femboy) so I don’t know 100% what it means yet, but from my understanding it is guys who are feminine or try to be at least. If I’m wrong about my this please let me know I’m wrong and what femboys truly are and I apologize for my misunderstanding. Thank you for reading.
submitted by anonymous-1234565 to feminineboys [link] [comments]

2020.08.23 00:12 wirus080 I'm gay in Poland, what now?

Hi, I'm new here and by that I mean in this group and in The LGBT community. I have this weight on my shoulders that I want to show a little of. So.. I'm gay, and I hate that; I live in Poland, and you know what? I HATE THIS HELL I think that I'm fucking myself now, because I'm starting a new chapter in my life - college, and I'm going to a polish university. You know what that means - I'm gonna endure even more hate for myself for more years (fuck, I should of offed myself when I've had a chance) I would love to feel good about being gay, but I'm not; I just fear that if I EVER tell anyone that I'm it I'm going to be pushed away by everyone. Is it too much to ask to just have a chance at meeting somebody that I could go on a date with, that I could love? You know, I've never in my life felt true love before (by that I mean the kind between lovers). And it's not that the homophobic people are only too blame. The whole society is rotten in it's core, when I want to feel like a normal teen and look for a date what do I see on online dating sites for gays? Only people that want to fuck, nothing more. How can I find somebody like me if all I see is hate?! Alright, this turned into a shitty rant sorry, I just needed somebody to hear my thoughts
submitted by wirus080 to askgaybros [link] [comments]

2020.08.22 03:54 FortBoyardBoi Need advice. Don't know if I'm a really picky bi-guy or a really weird straight guy.

First-time poster here. Using my dump account because I'm paranoid. I'm sorry if this is a bit long, but I want to give as much detail as possible to get some honest advice. Please be gentle.
A "disagreement" has been brewing for a while amongst my friends group and has recently come to a head. The aftermath has left me feeling unsure and a little bit guilty, and I could use some outside perspective. For simplicity, there are three main people involved:
Me: 28M
"Emma": 27F
"Craig": 27M
I live in the UK in an area that has relatively relaxed COVID-19 restrictions. This happened at an outdoor garden party I attended two weeks back (about 20 people). My family doesn't know about my "preferences" (haven't got the guts to tell them yet) but most of my friends do.
Emma and Craig (Not their real names) aren't really my friends, but friends of friends I regularly hang out with and have gotten to know one another fairly well. Emma is straight and best friends with Craig who's gay.
Craig likes me and has no problem showing it. He's flirty, touchy, likes to hug, etc. Whenever we're all together, he'll make a point to stay nearby, always wanting to pull me into conversations, buy me drinks, or even just sit beside me, with Emma acting as his "wing-woman". Out of the two, I'd say Emma is the more pushy one and is always trying to herd me towards Craig at almost every gathering we're at if she thinks I'm trying to put some distance between me and him. Honestly, it's a little creepy how insistant she is at having the two of us close together, and she can be quite pushy when she doesn't get her way. With me having all of the social grace of a shaved chimp, I usually just grin and bare it in awkward silence.
Onto the incident in question. I was talking to a girl I know and quite like when Emma comes marching over. She looks quite annoyed so I ask what's wrong and she asks me to come with her. I do and she leads me into the house where I'm immediatly surrounded by Emma and a few of her girlfriends with Emma blocking the door so I can't leave. Craig is also there and looks annoyed as well. Emma immediatly launches into this triade; "Why are you talking to her?", ""Why are you avoiding Craig?", "He's been wanting to talk to you and you've been avoiding him,", "You're making Craig upset," etc.
Honestly, this just pissed me off and I told her that I'll talk to whoever I damn well please and try to leave, but they're still blocking the door. Then she comes out and says it. Craig fancies me and has been trying to get together with me for months. She's asking me why I'm trying to hurt him and wants to know why I won't give him a chance since we "Obviously like each other". All the while her friends are backing her up and Craig's giving me this kicked-puppy look. I start to panic and just blurt out the truth.
I don't like Craig like that. Not because he's a bad guy, but because he's not my type. They ask me what I mean.
"He's too feminine."
My God, you should have seen the reaction. Craig runs off crying, and Emma and her pals are screaming, calling me all the bastards in the book. Emma's shouting, accusing me of lying about being Bi.
I feel like i should explain myself here. Craig is very feminine. High-pitched voice, girlish mannerisms, likes to wear nail-polish, he even talks like a girl, if that makes sense. And that's fine, but it's not what I'm into. I like masculine guys, the kind that you wouldn't even think where gay/bi if you saw them in the street. What's more, I'm sexually attracted to guys but I prefer relationships with women. I've never hidden it or lied about it to anyone, but it would take a lot more for me to be in a relationship with a guy than a girl.
This just made Emma angrier. She started accusing me of lying about being Bi, saying I was straight and just using guys for sex and that I was disgusting. She even said "You can't be against feminine guys that much. From what I've heard, if Craig had tits you'd even pay to fuck him."
She was talking about about a birthday trip I had to Amsterdam. I'd gotten too drunk and confessed to my friends that I was also into trans girls. This ended up with them practically dragging me to a trans brothel as a "surprise gift". That shut me up because I didn't know she even knew about that. I just stood there in stunned silence with these girls shouting at me.
Eventually, my best friend Barry (Praise be his name) heard the shouting and came to my rescue. He sent them off with a few choice words of his own and got me out of there. Since the party, opinions have been divided. Most are on my side and have told Emma she was out of line, but a few have suggested that I lead Craig on by 'pretending" to be Bi.
I'm really sorry for the long ramble, but I guess what I'm asking is am I actually Bi? Like I said, I'm sexualy attracted to both men and women. And trans girls. But I prefer romantic relationships with women. If a good looking guy wanted to take me home for the night, I'd likely be up for it, but unless we really connected I just don't see me dating a guy long-term. I do feel bad for Craig since he seemed genuinely upset, and since then I've been questioning if maybe Emma is right about me pretending.
TL;DR: Turned down a guy for being too feminine. His friends are accusing me of lying about being Bi. I like guys for sex and women for relationships.
submitted by FortBoyardBoi to bisexual [link] [comments]

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2020.08.17 19:04 OsoDeMaricon REMINDER to all visitors and lurkers: This is an unapologetically pro-sodomy subreddit.

This is non-negotiable and if you don’t like I encourage you all to file for asspumping arbitration.
By continuing to read, upvote, make or comment upon any content in this subreddit, you enthusiastically reaffirm your support for all of of the following:
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asparagus fork poopey dick dumpster jumper mishane dirty rogue tail-pipe brown me sheist heist atm sex dirty river chilidogged andre'd a bert blown o ring cummerrhea palin craptapper buttsexual scottish creampie anal shyness ass weasel 5th base fart knocker pink cell phone rusty pole butter worm ass jacker bum cum dribble bumming sneddon analmageddon tight sweater german snowplow dirt derby prostrage desibaba magician bumjammin' glazed doughnut hard way brownie points papsdorf bootyburglar brown star award fudge rings congo line dirty onion ass cave muddy mary straight sex gator chomp oxo tower manhattan declaration spadea the kessel run posthole digger up the dirtrack assrapery dooky booty bunta hiney-humper reverse blowjob donkey puncher shitshank bob the builder dooked twinker mr. velez reverse oil rig bobbus shit pipe sheriff up-the-butt girl mr. hands the cookie cutter longjohn sewer pickle sneeky butcher bum thunder fish hook backstreet beat the star missouri compromise analove ramiro greek friendly mississippi mud boat millet-ed dark gui ass tea poop shoot pounder backdoorgasm coltar frightened starfish visit the neighbor trip to the mediterranean boo boo bear strawberry wallet rick bum ride asspoj dizzycock dirty muskrat chocolate meat cushion back it up slow urlacher style simonetti marble cake chili bowl bend over lover nooky chilling on the porch budussy dirty joe california raisins anal hurts sunrise surprise downs in the dumps mud cutter fudge nugget voroney pink socked loose lucy rusty trombone lube up the farter 10th base polish the rusty sheriff's badge butt sexing cornhold enema butt blaster anal ravage swedish breakfast dry anal sex dark fandy old fashioned bastard the south american sodomizer kentucky tractor puller new zealand canteen southern cross rectal raider ass yam choc top chili doggin' it alaskan fudge cap aka (afc) butt bitch brownwings hang out the back of bashing butts james maslow racoon goggles anal fortitude shitty scent neapolitan anal repentive hershey kiss golden tate fire roasted corn holing diamond backing mud hole butt style total bottom fanal cherry tootsie pop boldus buddy nope yellowtail queeriod dutch steamboat whoops hole sydney opera house dearmin treatment ankle grabber frothy y helo thar, butsecks? lololol hind pussy doodle runchkin dirty bert fawcett o-ring fun severus snape duggy duggy demon hole anal fart mudfuck comforter in the dryer olympic rings sex challenge ganal shreking turd burgler ftfa sloppy picaso brown bandit ass invader munkes i skideren poonoodle poop backwards new delhi dot anal queef kamikaze mudslide uncrustable spoo noodle deep fried twinkie keep it greasey drill mud fart dick sex deprived brownbacker feeding him the lumber roman birth control plant seeds in the dirt pack nasty hit the trench marge ass raped fowlered dirty hindu mudd helmet anus. back door dip hundred acre wood turtlebeak bum fudgin' golden-colonic butt rustler shit shoveler vegan hotpocket brownward dog tail nail krausanator bubular bump a rump mashin' dinner poo darts smashed her back doors in dick-bum-dick onal sex dick brownie burr bowling in the basement ooffatch more cushion for the pushin' three eyed turtle free ride to brown rectal annihilation chocolate lolly dirty chalkboard the terrence anal dancer three ring circus azzfuq the big a dundee fluffy anal-virginity boogeyman anal angler n.a.s.a. cregan poop smear bone smuggling can work corned beef
rump rider
dutch steamboating
kentucky log splitter
big texas
anal discrepancy
puppied in the window
dirty eskimo
ky connection
fourth meal
pile-driving posse
f you in the a
cooking the cat
bbq pit
foam roller
suddenly sodomy
dingle gravy
japanese astronaut
stuffed mud
jack hammond
ass nozzle
prolapsed rectum
butt gravy
cat tits
butt nut
bag slap
mush tush
bananal split
anal blowjob
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2020.08.14 20:56 CapybaraWookiee [S] Capy's Survivor: Guatemala (S11)

Hello! Welcome or welcome back to Capy's Survivor! For this season we are headed to gorgeous Guatemala! We are once again playing the game of outwitting, outplaying, and outlasting your fellow castaways, whether that be by flirtatious behavior, backstabbing your opponents, or making plenty of allies. This is Capy's Survivor: Guatemala!
Meet The Castaways:
Nakum Tribe:
Yaxha Tribe:

The Season: Capy's Survivor: Guatemala
Episode 1: The camera pans out onto 2 boats riding the waves of Guatemala, headed toward the beach where the host himself stands. On one boat, the Nakum tribe, led by Sabrina Boyd, Runner-up of Palau. Alongside her tribe, Cyan, Etta, Garett, Hayden, Jackson, Kasey, Nicole, and Xangetti. On the other boat is the Yaxha tribe, led by Natalia “Talia” Grey, known for being rocked out in Vanuatu. Her tribe is Gamebot, AC, Andreita, Surf, Dove, Lana, Olin, and Black Diamond (lots of nicknames). This is Capy’s Survivor: Guatemala!
Once the boats reach the beach, the host says his hellos to the castaways, and tells them the opening speech, and that they can head to their camp to get set up before their first immunity challenge. But there is a twist, getting to their camps will also be their first reward challenge, as the tribe who gets to the ruins first will get to live there for the game. Yaxha wins the reward challenge, also winning a piece of flint. At the Nakum camp, Sabrina quickly starts working on an alliance, as that is the strategy that got her to the final 2 in Palau. She approaches Garett with an offer, as he seems wise and a mental competitor. She also approaches Nicole, as she seems strategic, and that she wouldn’t be half bad at challenges. She finally approaches Jackson and Hayden, as they are meatshields and can be used in challenges, they all accept that she is the returning player, and they would rather be with her than against her, at least this early on in the game. Cyan knows about this whole shenanigans and approaches Etta, Kasey, and Xangetti to ally with them, they all accept the offer as well. At the Yuxha camp, Gamebot quickly allies with Andreita and Olin, as Anderita seems like a more mental competitor, and Olin seems like a physical threat, and Gamebot thinks that they are the people he would probably work the best with. Black Diamond also decides to quickly ally, she approaches Lana, because she seems like she could be a wildcard, a physical, strategic, or social threat if she played her cards right. She also approaches AC and Dove, as they seem like they could be used as meatshields, and are easy to get along with. Both alliances also approach Talia, but she refuses both, saying that she doesn’t want to put her trust in one place this early on in the game, and she also knows that swing votes usually make it farther than the opposing alliance, as they need your vote. Surf is hanging by the water, and Black Diamond approaches him asking to join her alliance, but he refuses, stating basically what Talia told her.
Yaxha wins the immunity challenge, also winning themselves yet another piece of flint. At the Nakum camp, they are trying to decide who goes home. Nicole thinks that it will be best to vote out Kasey, as she seems like a strategic threat. Sabrina agrees with this. Also causing Jackson, Garett, and Hayden to agree. Cyan thinks that Garett should go, as he is holding the tribes back in challenges, she approaches everyone but Garett with this idea. But the other alliance wants to keep their majority vote for now. At tribal council, by a vote of 5-4, Kasey, the tribe has spoken.
Episode 2: The Nakum tribe wins the reward challenge, winning themselves fishing gear. The Nakum tribe also wins the second immunity challenge. Etta and Cyan have a major fight over Etta’s loyalty to the alliance. At the Yaxha camp, Black Diamond is helping more around camp, even though she is the leader of the majority alliance, she still thinks there might be a target on her back because of that. Black Diamond tells her alliance that she thinks that Surf has to go, as he didn’t align himself with anyone, and is overall just being a sketchy player. Her alliance agrees with this. Lana also approaches the other alliance, who is also discussing who to vote out, and they said that they already put his name out there and that they think that he should go as well. Gamebot approaches Surf and Talia and tells them that their alliance is voting out Dove because he is a social threat. At tribal council, by a vote of 7-2, Surf, the tribe has spoken.
Episode 3: The Nakum tribe wins their second reward in a row, winning themselves pillows, blankets, and a tarp. The Yaxha tribe wins the immunity challenge, sending Nakum to their second tribal council. At the Nakum camp, after more arguing and disagreements, the majority alliance is very weak now, but as always they stay together for the votes. Sabrina says that Cyan is the biggest strategic threat to their game, as she is a poker player and knows how to read people, along with she made the other alliance. Her alliance agrees with her. Cyan still thinks that Garett should be the one going home, as he is holding the tribe back in challenges. Cyan goes to Jackson and Hayden, and tries to exchange their votes for voting Garett out; they seem to agree with it. At tribal council, by a vote of 5-3, Cyan, the tribe has spoken.
Episode 4: The host calls the tribes down to the challenge area, when they get there he announces a twist. The tribe swap occurs, the new Nakum tribe is Gamebot, AC, Andreita, Garett, Jackson, Sabrina, Black Diamond, and Xangretti. While the next Yaxha tribe is Etta, Hayden, Dove, Lana, Talia, Nicole, and Olin. Garett, Jackson, and Sabrina keep their little alliance, even without Hayden and Nicole. Back at the Nakum camp, Andreita and Gamebot also keep their little alliance without Odin. AC and Black Diamond decide to pair up as well. Then Garett, Jackson, Sabrina, and Xangetti ally for votes. So do AC, Andreita, Black Diamond, and Gamebot. At the Yaxha camp, Nicole and Hayden keep their little alliance, hoping to make it to the merge with Garett, Jackson, and Sabrina. Dove and Lana also stay in an alliance. As the other tribe did, Etta, Hayden, and Nicole allied votes, as did Dove, Lana, Olin, and Talia.
The Yaxha tribe wins the immunity challenge, sending the new Nakum tribe to their first tribal council. At the Yaxha camp, Olin and Talia have a major fight because Olin put her name up as a possibility for the next tribal council. At the Nakum camp, nobody is appreciating Andreita’s behavior, as she is being quite lazy as they are trying to re-setup everything around camp, and all she has done is collected some firewood. Despite this, Black Diamond knows her vote is going to be useful and tells her alliance that Garett is holding their alliance back in the challenges and that he needs to go. They agree. The original Nakum tribe decides that AC is their biggest threat, as he is a physical threat. Black Diamond knows that Xangetti isn’t in the actual 3-person alliance in the original Nakum, so she approaches him and tells him that her alliance is voting for Garett, he joyfully accepts the offer, as he has been trying to get Garett out for a while. Sabrina approaches Andreita and tells her they will keep her safe if she votes out AC with them, but Andreita knows that AC is going to be too valuable to lose pre-merge. At tribal council, by a vote of 5-3, Xangetti.
Episode 5: Nakum once again wins the reward challenge, winning themselves chips, drinks, and a crocodile-proof swimming cage. Yaxha wins immunity again, sending Nakum to their second tribal council in a row. Because of the split between the tribes, Sabrina’s alliance loses some loyalty. At the Nakum camp, Sabrina, Jackson, and Xangetti decide that Black Diamond is their biggest adversary, as she is a strategic threat, and they need to get her out before the merge. She approached A.C. and told him that they wouldn’t target him in exchange for his vote. He agrees, saying that he doesn’t fully trust Black Diamond either. But little did he know, Sabrina went to his alliance, telling them that he approached her and her alliance with the offer of safety if they voted for Black Diamond. At tribal council, by a vote of 5-2, A.C., the tribe has spoken.
Episode 6: The Nakum tribe wins yet another reward challenge, winning themselves a grill, burgers, beer, and root beer. The host also adds another surprise reward, they get to compete for individual immunity! As tomorrow’s tribal council is going to be a double tribal council. Black Diamond wins the immunity challenge, meaning Sabrina is going to have to rethink her plan. Sabrina and Xangetti are still getting along, even after Sabrina left him out of the plan in the last tribal council. Gamebot and Black Diamond decide that Jackson needs to go, as they don’t want to target Sabrina quite yet, and Jackson is her biggest ally. Sabrina says that Andreita needs to go, for the same reason, she doesn’t want to target Gamebot and Black Diamond quite yet, but Andreita is their closest ally. Black Diamond approaches Xangetti, knowing that Sabrina left him out of the plan at the last tribal council, and she says she will keep him immune over Sabrina if he votes with her, he agrees. He also agrees because he thinks Jackson is a bigger threat than Andreita. Sabrina also approaches Gamebot, but he is too intelligent, and he knows Sabrina is just trying to get the numbers, and won’t keep him safe for long.
At the Yaxha camp, Talia doesn’t trust Hayden and thinks he is too much of a threat to keep around. Her alliance also doesn’t want to lose the numbers so they agree. Nicole and Hayden think that Dove is their biggest threat, as he might float his way to the end. Nicole approaches Lana, but once again, she doesn’t want to vote against her alliance so they lost the numbers. Both tribes arrive at tribal council, the host tells the Yaxha tribe to sit down. That the Nakum is going first, and they commence the strategizing and the host’s questions for them. At tribal council, by a vote of 4-2, Jackson, the tribe has spoken. He then tells the Yaxha tribe to come to the voting area, once again after a couple of minutes of strategizing and the host’s questions, they are ready. At tribal council, by a vote of 4-3, Hayden, the tribe has spoken.
Episode 7: The Yaxha tribe wins the reward challenge, winning themselves a chocolate feast and a zipline over the Guatemalan rainforest. The Yaxha tribe also wins immunity once again, sending Nakum to another tribal council. Sabrina is acting too cocky around camp, and with a big target already on her back, this is not good for her game. Nicole is trying to earn the trust and respect of other people, as she feels like she's next, so she talks with Etta, and they end up bonding quite a bit. Sabrina and Xangetti decided that it would be best to gun for Black Diamond. Sabrina says she will go and try to convince her allies. But as always, Sabrina has a different plan. Sabrina goes to the 3-person alliance and tells them that they can vote her out at any time if they vote with her for Xangetti tonight. She tells them to think about it, he is a physical, mental, and strategic threat. They agree with her. At tribal council, by a vote of 4-1, Xangetti, the tribe has spoken.
Episode 8: The host sends treemail to the 2 tribes, asking them to come to the challenge area. Once they are there he announces the expected, the merge! He also congratulates Gamebot, Andreita, Etta, Dove, Lana, Talia, Nicole, Olin, Sabrina, and Black Diamond on making it this far in the game, for one even twice. He then tells them they are free to head to the Xhakum camp. The host also announces a new twist, there will be an idol, which can be played before the votes hidden in camp, this idol is called the HIDDEN IMMUNITY IDOL, and it essentially works as a one-time immunity necklace.
Back at camp, alliance, and a lot of them, are forming. Nicole and Sabrina, now with all their other alliance members gone, have a dynamic duo, and Sabrina is planning to put more blindsides on her resume, alongside Nicole. Andreita, Gamebot, and Olin also form a final three pact in the ruins of their old alliance. Black Diamond, Dove, and Lana do the same thing. Nicole also forms a final 2 pact with Etta, as they bonded while on a tribe together. Black Diamond also forms another final three pact with Anderita and Gamebot, just to secure even more votes. Talia allies with Olin, Dove, and Lana as well. Nicole also allies herself, Sabrina, and Etta. Andreita, Black Diamond, Dove, Gamebot, Lana, Olin, and Talia ally because they were all originally from the same tribe. Black Diamond, Gamebot, and Andreita also ally with Sabrina, just in case. Dove, Etta, Lana, Nicole, Olin, and Talia also ally.
Nicole wins the first immunity challenge, making the primary targets Etta and Sabrina. Black Diamond says that they have more than enough votes wise, so she thinks it will be smart to take out Talia right now. Talia hears about this from Andreita and decides to target her. She approaches Etta, Sabrina, and Nicole and tells them about it, and they decide to split their vote because they want Talia gone. Talia even tries to convince Olin, Dove, and Lana that Andreita needs to go. But they want to stick with the numbers. At tribal council, by a vote of 6-2-2, Talia, the tribe has spoken.
Episode 9: Nicole wins the reward challenge, winning herself a feast of lobster, steak, and ice-cold beer! Nicole also wins her third challenge in a row by winning immunity. At camp, Sabrina suggests that Nicole stops winning so many challenges, as it's putting an even bigger target on their back than is already there. Sabrina and Nicole decide that they want Andreita gone, they approach Dove, Lana, and Olin, asking them to vote with the 3 of them, and that Andreita might float her way to the end if not. They agree. Originally Black Diamond wanted Sabrina gone, but Olin tells her about how Dove and Lana agreed to vote out Andreita, and she now wants Dove gone. She tries to convince Lana once again, even for safety, but Lana just doesn’t fully trust Black Diamond, she never has. At tribal council, by a vote of 5-4, Andreita, the tribe has spoken.
Episode 10: Gamebot, Sabrina, Dove, and Black Diamond win a helicopter ride to a private home, where they can do anything. Olin wins the immunity challenge. Back at camp, Black Diamond wants Etta gone, as she is an all-around threat, and it would also hurt Sabrina’s and Nicole’s games. But Sabrina, Nicole, and Etta have other plans. They approach Gamebot and Olin, telling them that Lana is talking about voting them out next. They fall for it and agree to vote for Lana, but what they didn’t know is that Lana found the hidden immunity idol, and is going to play it. What they also didn’t know is that they approached Dove, and he ended up telling Lana, who he knows has the idol. The contestants arrive at tribal council. The host asks if anybody would like to play the hidden immunity idol, now would be the time and place to do so. Lana stands up and pulls the idol out of her bag, and hands it to the host. He confirms that he is the hidden immunity idol, and nobody can vote for Lana. The 3-person-alliance knows one of them is going and decides to just vote for Dove because he told Lana. At tribal council, by a vote of 5-3, Etta, the tribe has spoken.
Episode 11: Sabrina wins reward, winning a trip to a hot springs waterfall with a feast and a massage. She takes Dove in attempts to gain his trust. Sabrina also wins the immunity challenge. Even though the alliance thinks that Nicole needs to go, Black Diamond is letting her emotions get the best of her and wants Lana gone for not telling her about the idol, because Black Diamond thinks she could've convinced people not to vote for her, and not had her waste her idol. Lana knows about this, and Sabrina and Nicole approach her and Dove, saying that they need Black Diamond out, they both agree. But Dove still wants the numbers, so he considers it as well. At tribal council, by a vote of 4-3, Lana, the tribe has spoken.
Episode 12: The Loved One’s Auction is the reward challenge, meaning there is no official reward challenge. Nicole wins immunity and is safe at the next tribal council. Black Diamond, once again letting her emotions get the best of her, wants Dove eliminated. Sabrina and Nicole know this so they approach Dove, and offer to vote out Black Diamond, he agrees. They also approach Olin, he says he needs to think about it, and he decides not to because he knows Black Diamond will probably take him to the end. At tribal council, there is a 3-3 tie. Both Black Diamond and Dove state their cases. The revote is a 2-2 tie. The host calls Sabrina, Olin, and Gamebot up to the podium to draw rocks. At tribal council, by the draw of the purple rock, Olin, the tribe has spoken.
Episode 13: Black Diamond isn’t affected by Olin’s elimination, as she knew a rock draw would occur, but she would be safe. Black Diamond also wins the reward challenge, she brings Sabrina along for the trip in attempts to gain her vote. Gamebot wins the immunity challenge. Sabrina tells Black Diamond that it is time to vote out Dove, she agrees with her, as she attempted to get Dove out last week as well. Gamebot also accepts the offer, as he is a close ally of Black Diamond. Sabrina tells Dove about the vote, saying it was Black Diamond, and that she and Nicole would vote her out with him. He agrees. Sabrina tells Nicole to vote for Black Diamond, for nothing but stirring the pot. At tribal council, by a vote of 3-2, Dove, the tribe has spoken.
Finale: Gamebot wins the immunity challenge. Black Diamond wants Sabrina out, so she tells Gamebot to vote for her, and that she knows that it will cause a tie, but she thinks she can beat Sabrina at the fire-making challenge. Sabrina tells Nicole the same thing, she knows it will cause a tie between herself and Black Diamond, but she won the fire-making challenge last season, she can do it again. At tribal council, by a vote of 2-2, there is a tie between Black Diamond and Sabrina, meaning a fire-making challenge must occur. At tribal council, by a vote of 2-2, and then losing the fire-making challenge, Black Diamond, the tribe has spoken.
Nicole wins the final immunity, and she has been allied with Sabrina the whole game and knows she will win much more easily against Sabrina than Gamebot. So she decides to eliminate Gamebot. At tribal council, by a vote of 1-0, Gamebot, the tribe has spoken.
The Reunion: Nicole and Sabrina state their cases. Nicole says that she played a much better physical game than Sabrina did, as she won a total of 8 challenges. Sabrina rebuttals with the fact that she played a much better strategic game than Nicole, and that there should be more thought into the voting than just who won more challenges.
At final tribal council, by a jury vote of 7-0, congratulations Nicole Knight, you are the winner of Capy’s Survivor: Guatemala! (Nicole is also the first perfect winner!)
Lana Alexandrov wins Fan Favorite!
Possible Returnees: Nicole, Sabrina, Black Diamond, Dove, Olin, Lana, Etta, Talia, Xangetti, Cyan
Leave your opinions about potential returnees, your favorite players, and your opinions about the season down below!
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2020.08.12 18:27 jcisneros405 Ranking All 12 Drag Race Seasons

S5 - Right out of the gate Serena Cha Cha vs the world gave compelling television Week 1, Alyssa vs Coco's real life feud carrying into the show was revolutionary, Alaska proving she can carry her own weight over dating a winner, and the pure satisfaction of Jink's "underdog" storyline vs Rolaskatox makes this still top dog in terms of quality television.
S6 - Bianca del Rio is a drag queens drag queen, she's one of the most mainstream, easily accessible, and wittiest of all the queens and while it was no surprise Bianca had the season in the bag, the amazing cast comprised of Gia's cunty catchphrases, Adore's youthful charm, Laganga's everything, Trinity and Darienne's lip syncs as well as Darienne's confessionals made not a single moment of this season boring television. And THEN there's still Courtney Act, Ben de la, Ornacia, etc. Fantastic cast with amazing challenges that were either hysterical or gave satisfying tv for the "cringe" crowd due to Makeover and Chad.
S2 - This season benefitted from the cast not self-editing for the cameras due to a lack of social media back in 1994 when it aired and most of the drama this season was fueled by blunt critiques from Santino and Merle comparing the queens looks to cokewhores and 5 dollar hookas or from Tyra, Raven, Tatianna, or Morgan clashing and arguing with the cast in ways the newer casts would never do bar The Vixen and Yvie. The wedding dress episode remains peak quality gay drama television and the honest, raw attitudes of the cast unafraid of the audience backlash enabled them to tear into eachother (especially in Untucked) and secure this season as one of the best even all these years.
S12 - Recency bias not withstanding, S12 is similar to Season 6 in that the cast was comprised of all queens who had a wide range of distinctive personalities and looks, and the entire cast [ok maybe not Dahlia] is basically eligible for All Stars even today which is not something one can say about any other season. Editing around the scandal proved awkward at times and made some episodes frustrating, but the positive energy and All Stars worthy looks exuding out of queens like Crystal, Jan, Heidi, Widow and the rest of the cast did overpower that. Ru's homeless superhero mask at the reunion was questionable. Zoom call finale lacked oomph but a satisfying crowning.
S10 - This one really was the season people were HYPED for. Monet X Change was gonna be on drag race. Sharon Needles' daughter. Bob the drag queens daughter. Alexis Mateo's daughter. Eureka was coming back. Asia O Hara was going to compete. And then the first episode was a slam dunk w/ a shock elimination of a first out that even the producers and Ru didnt see coming that propelled the Movement that showed even the "first out" can make it just as big as the winners do. The audience fell in love with Monique Heart, got a weaker version of a Valentina "Greedy" moment, loved to hate The Vixen for ensuring that Untucked remained interesting when the producers had no problem booting the quiet, nice, drama-free Mayhem Miller and Blair St Clair the moment they could who weren't giving enough tv moments. Monet X Change, Mayhem Miller, and Kameron Michaels delivered some fantastic lip syncs. Was nice and satisfying seeing wins spread around to Miz Cracker and Kameron when they earned it, not like recently when they withhold them from Jan or Miss Vanjie when giving them wins made sense in terms of their performance and storyline. It was actually a tight race between Eureka, Asia, and Aquaria. The Lip Sync for the Crown was a mess but Aquaria and Kameron's Bang Bang saved it.
S9 - Best promo out of all 12 seasons by far, helped hype the season at the beginning. Lady Gaga was a smart choice and set the stage for the big-name pop diva to guest judge ep 1. Another fantastic cast as proven by all of the returning queens All Stars Runs [ok not Farrah] and continued success off the show. A lot of the episodes feel educational, or as if going through the motions to address "gay problem of the week" during makeup time which can sometimes drag. Also the purple runway lighting this season held back some looks and really washed out a lot of color on the girls. The lip sync for the Crown was brilliant as people were complaining how predictable it was by Season 8's promo videos that Bob would win and S9 had far too many underwhelming lip syncs and it seemed like the only girls that could deliver a performance were Trinity, Aja, Peppermint and Nina Bonina Brown by the end of it, so this finale solved two problems in one. Valentina was TV gold from entrance to exit. Sasha Velour is drag excellence and delivers some of the tightest lip syncs I've ever seen. Amazing Ball Episode and Nina's Finally performance will give you all the life you need to move on from that man who did you wrong.
S3 - Similar to S2 in that it's still rough around the edges, you got girls literally assaulting each other in the first lip sync, there's Delta's strong hatred toward the other big girls that felt sadly misdirected, the audience got to see Stacy surprise everyone and snag a Snatch Game win, the Heathers vs Boogers storyline the producers pushed gave the season an interesting Us vs Them dynamic at the Top 7 that has yet to be replicated. Raja, Manila, Alexis, and Yara give fantastic looks, and Carmen is the OG unclockable woman of the franchise. Manila, Raja, Alexis, and Shangela gave epic lip syncs and Shangela knew how to play the cameras and instigate things to give excellent TV (predominantly Untucked) but the Heathers were so easy to fall into it.
S4 - I know people think this season should be higher. It has some of the most long-standing and respected queens in the franchise. But it takes more than half a season to get to them because casting booked so many filler queens, not enough contenders or wild cards. The Untucked of this season is where the juice is thanks to Phi Phi and Willam. Sharon's look episode 1 won over Ru and won her the season right there. Dita Ritz's lip syncs are everything, Ru's eyes are mesmerized watching her. Latrice, Jiggly, and Milan thankfully served us some entertaining lip syncs as well. Chad's First Lady Look was so polished. Very satisfying seeing Sharon take down her arch nemesis of the season at the end from a television perspective.
S7 - Fantastic cast of girls, so many good lip syncs this season, Violets two-in-one. But her confidence split the audience in half on who to root for and by the end people really were uncertain who was going to take it, people even thought Pearl had a chance to win for a while there. Ginger was hysterical and clearly a talented singer but her Untucked edit split the audience. The audience was not kind to Jasmine but Jasmine's cocoon moment and her dress alone should've kept her safe as fuck from bullying. Mrs Kasha Davis and Jaidynn Dior Fierce's wins are stolen and given to frontrunners who don't need them for storyline. Katya teleports all over Untucked. They did a better job editing out Kandy Ho than Pie. Pearl loses a lip sync, twice because the second should have been a double elimination and #JusticeforTrixie is probably the reason Ru ain't shouldering the responsibility of eliminating Valentina, Manila, Tatianna, Shangela, Monique, etc on All Stars and is why you'll never get lip sync for your lifes on All Stars again. The cast has great chemistry and provide some of the funniest Untucked moments in all 12 seasons as it's in the in-between phase of the cattiness of the Untucked Lounge and the "Best Friends Race" Untucked has become post S8. But the cast is wasted on being forced into too many unfunny acting challenges and not enough challenges to push creativity or solo endeavors. This was the season where the runways really started to have that overdramatic, overblown budget pop to them thanks to Violet and Fame. One of the few seasons with an unpredictable winner without needing to resort to lip syncing for the crown. Katya, Ginger, and Kennedy save Untucked. This season could have been great with swapping some challenges out and giving wins where they deserved.
S11 - Brook Lynn vs Yvie is one of the best lip syncs of the franchise and they are both powerhouse performers with a unique aesthetic. A'keria was Southern pageant excellence, Silky embodied that personality is key and can take you to the top, Scarlet's personality was so likable, Miss Vanjie need I say more? But this season dragged and started out with too many queens who clearly were never destined to make it far, only now exacerbated by the extra 2/3 filler queens compared to normal. Even though its rated so low, this season still has a handful of extremely talented queens, make no mistake.
S1 - You can tell they're still testing things out. They even pulled a stunt and put two frontrunners in the btm together early on (Ongina vs Bebe) and DIDN'T pull a "shantay you both stay" for the twelfth time. Intentionally messed with Shannel and gave her win to Rebecca, who was clearly pushed by the producers to represent the modern, mall drag of early 2000s even though Jade beat her in the lip sync. Akashias lip syncs were fire, she brought a guest judge to tears, Tammie Brown pulled a Valentina before it was a thing and pulled a Pearl during the reunion, Tammie needs to be brought back again, she has more nerve than Willam. The filter, short length, and the rough around the edges, low budget look keep it near the bottom but it's still got its classic moments and queen interactions.
S8 - It's too short. Bob had no competition. It was amazing watching Chi Chi, Naomi, Derrick, and Kim Chis journeys, but Ru wasn't giving that crown to no one but Bob even before they flew all the girls in to film. Shoutout to Laila McQueen for delivering on Applause and Chi Chi giving Ru that twinkle in her eye during her And I'm Telling You that I hadn't seen on Ru since Dita Ritz. The Realness music video is perfect.
submitted by jcisneros405 to rupaulsdragrace [link] [comments]

2020.08.12 01:03 horrorflickguy My racist grandmother gets taken down a notch

TL: DR at bottom.
About this story: all names contained herein are fictitious. Hence why there are quotation marks around them.
Me: Sassy then-closeted gay guy who doesn't discriminate.
Silvio: Judgemental douchebag who finds humor in other people's suffering.
Giovanna: My cantankerous bigoted Italian grandmother
Background: My German Jew mother married into an overbearing Italian Roman Catholic family. My father’s side of the family did not like her because she ‘wasn't Italian.’ Being also of minimal Polish and Czechoslovakian extraction, her heritage was not easily noticeable at first glance i.e. she's alabaster white and has honey brown eyes. As far as I knew, they just didn't like her because she was my father's second wife. Ironic, considering the people who had the most to say about it were my uncles. All of whom had been married at least three times themselves. Even at a young age, I realize the only standards any of my relatives ever held were double standards.
As I got older, I came to the sad realization that many of my relatives looked down upon me because of my mixed background. Adding insult to injury, my not being raised Catholic only added to the mess. Being that “Silvio” was divorced when he met my mother, the church wouldn't marry him. They were married in a Lutheran church. My brothers and myself were also raised/confirmed Lutheran. I've since joked that I was raised Catholic-lite: same religion, half the guilt. Due to the dubious tactics and subterfuge they employed, specifically fomented by “Giovanna,” I hardly ever saw my maternal grandparents. After my paternal grandfather passed away, all my uncles’s families made their obligatory cameo appearances on special occasions and key holidays. The rest of the time, being that we lived right up the road, Giovanna leaned on my father. She expected him to drop what he was doing and make her and whatever drama she had going on priority number one. Sick and tired of being at her beckoned call, he started sending me over there.
The story: It was the summer before my senior year of high school and Giovanna had finally upgraded to cable. I know that's dated, but this was over 20 years ago. She had to dispose of her ancient decades-old TV antenna. Naturally, this had to be done on the only day off I had from my then-part time job. My father employed me to be his indentured servant. So off to grandmother's house we went.
During the brief drive over there, my father was beyond his usual stoic self. This was not unusual, but there was something cold and distant about him. I asked him what was wrong and he gave a slight head shake indicating there was nothing to worry about. Then he started smirking quite smugly. I instantly started to feel quite anxious and worried.
We arrived at my grandmother's house and got out the appropriate tools to dig up her old TV antenna. I was sweating and quite uncomfortable as my father started having a conversation with my grandmother while I did all the work. She was standing there in her house dress and slippers as they shot the proverbial bullsh--.
Silvio: “Ma, did OP tell you he's got a girlfriend?”
I stopped digging around the antenna. Sweat poured into my eyes and was dripping all over my glasses as I tilted my head up to see my dad standing there with a smug expression on his face. He was doing it again. He was using the awkward situation I was in, where I had no escape, to amuse himself.
Giovanna [snarky]: “Well, it's about time! I was beginning to think you were a f-g.”
I froze. I almost dropped the tools and beat it out of there. I handed the shovel to my father and started walking away.
Silvio: “OP, get back here!”
OP: “Not until both of you apologize.”
I continued down the side of the yard to the driveway and on to the street. Instead of an apology, he chased after me, grabbed me by the arm and dragged me back to the task that still needed to be completed. I pulled away and crossed my arms.
OP: “I'm waiting.”
I got a half-hearted apology from my father and my grandmother did the same.
Giovanna: “Don't get so excited.”
I hated how she used the same buzzwords to describe everything. ‘Excited’ was the word she used to patronize me when I was feeling annoyed, aggravated, reacting to bullying from her, my uncles or my cousins. Little did she know I had had it. I was about to give both her and my father a piece of my mind.
Giovanna: “So OP has a girlfriend?”
Another thing my grandmother liked to do was talk about people as if they weren't present.
Silvio: “Yeah. He met her at work.”
Giovanna: “Oh. That's nice.”
My father's smug smile returned.
Silvio: “She's black.”
The bombshell dropped, my grandmother's eyes nearly bugged out of her head as she let out an audible gasp that sounded like she was having a full-on asthma attack. She wasn't an ashmatic. She just excelled at using histrionics to fuel her narcissism.
Giovanna: “She's what?!”
I kept digging around the bottom of the antenna and nearly had it free.
Me: “What's the problem? We all bleed red, Grandma.”
My grandmother flew into a tizzy and began a racist rant in the middle of her back yard for all the neighbors to hear. One line that stuck with me all these years was:
Giovanna: “God made white to be with white and black to be with black!”
I retorted back with examples of relatives including her own children and grandchildren who were in mixed marriages, but she didn't like that very much.
Me: “Grandma, hate to break it to you, but Italian isn't white.”
My father gave me the dirtiest look. My grandmother looked as though she could have been knocked over with a feather.
Giovanna: “You need to learn respect.”
Me: “That's the pot calling the kettle black.”
She turned and headed inside through the side garage door and in to the house. I heard the door slam behind her.
With the job done, my dad and I got in the car to head home. I was proud of myself for having stood up to both my father and grandmother's bullying, but I was terrified that I was now going to have to suffer my father's wrath for embarrassing him. He was stewing for most of the short ride back to the house. Then I heard him start to snicker. Then he began to laugh audibly. I gave him the side eye then fully turned and looked at him. I half expected him to backhand me. It wouldn't have been the first time.
Me: “Dad?”
Silvio: “That was a good one, OP.”
To say I was shocked, would've been an understatement. He even gave me a very out of character compliment stating how it was long overdue that I started standing up for myself. Of course, having known how my grandmother would react, he completely ignored the fact her that he had orchestrated this latest conflict. He told me several anecdotes about how other people had gotten my grandmother's goat. That's one of the very few occasions where I felt my father and I had truly bonded. Albeit, over very odd circumstances.
EDIT: Just to clarify a few things. I, even at a young age, was never of the mindset to judge people based on their differences. Being around and seeing how my own family behaved, was reason enough never to think like them or view them as role models The things my Italian grandmother and Sicilian grandfather said about their own Jewish daughter-in-law were disgusting. They would make anti-Semitic remarks and jokes when she was in earshot. She was classy enough to ignore it. Retrospectively, I don't know how she has stayed married to my uncle for over 35 years.
As for my snappy comeback to my now late grandmother, I just decided to turn her narrow-minded thinking around on her like a mirror. I'm aware that, for all intents and purposes, Italian is white. My grandmother was Napolitano and she acted like she was the poster child for whiteness. Following her logic, I couldn't understand why she married my Sicilian grandfather then. She used to refer to a Southern Italian, and anyone from the surrounding lands, as a “mulignan” which is the Italian equivalent to the N word. I can only imagine, what her reaction would have been, had she lived to find out she was part Spaniard on her father's side.
As for my mother, none of her former in-laws nor my late father were aware that she had Jewish blood in her. For years, my mother asserted she was only of German and Czechoslovakian descent. It wasn't until, after both my paternal grandparents and my father passed away that, I researched my maternal side of the family. She's not only of German Jew extraction on her mother's side but of Polish Jew on her father's side. Mom's response to the news: “Jesus was a Jew. I'll take it.”
All of this really doesn't matter. As I stated above, we all bleed red.
TL: DR: My racist grandmother revealed her true feelings about my interracial relationship. I snapped back at and left her speechless.
submitted by horrorflickguy to EntitledBitch [link] [comments]

2020.08.12 00:45 timmmy8 The Last of Us Part II: A Look Back at the Major Leaks & Rumours

Here we go, what has undoubtedly been my most requested game to cover in this series, and boooooy is it a biggie. My personal most anticipated game of all time, the sequel to arguably last generation's "game of the generation", comes Naughty Dog's game that is as highly spoken about as much as it was anticipated, The Last of Us Part II. Releasing a whole seven years after the previous game and releasing just before we all embark on a new generation comes a game that has definitely made headlines, a lot of them undesirable. Putting aside these headlines, whether you agree with them or not, there is no denying the hype behind this game, and everyone clawing for information about the game from the moment the first entry ended with that perfect finale way back in 2013.
However, this series of posts is about the leaks, and boy was there a big one - unfortunately for Naughty Dog, probably the biggest video game leak ever, and that might ever happen. Fortunately for us, there were other interesting leaks, including slip ups on streams from developers, fake reveals in magazines, and a popular actor leaking that it just might be being worked on.
Now, with that out of the way, lets jump in.

May 17, 2013 - Sony Register Domains For Sequels

As reported by VG24/7, a month before The Last of Us releases it seems Sony have registered internet domains for possible sequels, hinting that the series may have a future. Obviously not a real major leak, but it is our first hint that a series may be being considered, rather than a one off.
Outcome? Confirmed.

May 4, 2014 - Naughty Dog Concept Artist Teases Reveal

Marek Okon, talented artist who had worked with Naughty Dog on The Last of Us promotional material, began working on artwork that seems to show fan favourite Ellie. Here is the work-in-progress of the artwork, and as reported by IGN we can see that he also captioned the work with;
Let me tease you something... Its coming... ;]
Moments after IGN published this article, Okon had this to say;
Lol. This is how you know you are teasing your stuff the right way. So before its gonna get blown out of proportions [SP] - its gonna be strictly personal image. Is it about TLOU2? Not really... Maybe... Its classified ;P But seriously its gonna be just a fan art ;]
The beautiful finished product is viewable here. So there we have it, Okon himself admitting that it is a piece of personal art and should not be taken as a tease for the second game.
Outcome? False.

December 21, 2014 - Lead Character Artist's LinkedIN Profile Drops Name

Thanks to a discovery from the always reliable NeoGAF highlights how lead character artist from The Last of Us had recently left Naughty Dog - and that the artist in question, Michael Knowland, did indeed have a game on his resume listed as "Unannounced AAA Game", before changing it to;
The Last of Us 2 - 1 month prototyping head sculpts
While he is not credited with working on the game according to Moby Games, it does seem strange that he would list it without having actually worked on it - going on to his profile now shows that he has since removed the game from his profile.
Additionally, it seems that the current lead character artist Frank Tzeng also worked on the game and updated his resume to reflect this around the same time, discovered in the same NeoGAF thread, stating;
Helping develop a unannounced AAA game title
Outcome? Plausible. I buy into two possible trains of thought - that he did work on The Last of Us Part II briefly, or he did work on Left Behind - the original game's add-on, which launched in 2014 (the year Knowland departed Naughty Dog).

June 25, 2015 - Nolan North Confirms Sequel Being Worked On

Everyone's favourite voice actor in gaming Nolan North has seemingly spilled the beans on what Naughty Dog has been up to while answering a question at Metrocon in 2015. He was hosting his own panel when a Q&A seemed to take place and a fan asked him if he was involved in any upcoming Naughty Dog projects to which he responded;
For now, last one, I know they're doing Last of Us 2 but my character in Last of Us kinda..kinda *death noise*
Of course Nolan would know what Naughty Dog are up to, so this seems like a genuine slip of the tongue.
Outcome? Confirmed

June 30, 2015 - Troy Baker Denies Working On Sequel

Shortly after everyone's favourite voice actor Nolan North has let slip that a sequel is being worked on, it seems that everyone's favourite voice actor Troy Baker has disputed as much. As reported by GameReactor, Baker denies the claim at Indy PopCon 2015 stating;
Okay, so I'm... And by the way I know nothing. I don't know if we're gonna do another one or not. If we do, then I trust Neil [Druckmann, creative director] and Bruce [Straley, game director] and everyone at Naughty Dog to tell a story that needs to be told.
Outcome? Liar, liar. Baker sums it up right here.

September 15, 2015 - Naughty Dog Let Slip Sequel In Development on Live Stream

As reported by GamePur, during a live stream for Naughty Dog's Uncharted: The Nathan Drake Collection, held by employees Monacelli, Scherr and Baldwin, it appears one of them let slip a really big clue about there being a sequel game. While talking about animation, one of them is quoted saying the following;
and he was the one in charge of face animation for the 3 Uncharted games and the first The Last of Us game… did I just say the first The Last of Us game
The team just chalked it up to confusion, but it definitely seems to drop a massive hit that the much desired sequel is being worked on.
Outcome? Confirmed.

December 3, 2016 - The Last of Us Part II Announced

Watch the reveal trailer here!

September 28, 2018 - Did PlayStation Leak 2019 Release Window?

A thread on reddit seems to have noticed that a video from the PlayStation Music YouTube channel has seemingly listed The Last of Us Part II, followed by "2019". While at the time it was highly speculated, and assumed, that the sequel would be releasing in 2019, there was currently no official word from Naughty Dog or PlayStation that this was the plan. For those hwo want to view it themselves, here is a screenshot courtesy of u/BostonMIT.
Outcome? Likely.

February 28, 2019 - Peruvian Game Retailer Leaks 2019 Release Window

More fuel to add to the 2019-release-bonfire that is only getting larger and larger, with Peruvian retailer LawGamers seemingly releasing promotional material a little bit too early, as reported by The Loot Gaming. The promotional material is viewable right here, and advertises the game with an October 2019 release, supporting the previous two leaks.
Outcome? Confirmed.

September 24, 2019 - Release Date Announced As February 21, 2020

Watch the reveal trailer here. It does say June 19, 2020 at the end of the trailer but this was not the original upload, it seems they have edited it, here is an article from Variety confirming the February date.

October 24, 2019 - Delayed Until May 2020

The Last of Us Part II has been delayed until May 29, 2020 to make sure that the game is up to Naughty Dog standards.

April 2, 2020 - Delayed Indefinitely

With the global pandemic concerning COVID-19 sweeping the world, Naughty Dog has announced that The Last of Us Part II has been delayed indefinitely due to logistical reasons created by the pandemic.

April 3, 2020 - Gameplay Clips Leak Online

As reported by PlayStation Lifestyle, it seems that fans have tried to find comfort in the delay by seeing two new gameplay leaks for the game. While the gameplay leaks have obviously been taken down since then, but here is a description from the site Alt Char for the first gameplay leak,
It is a short, 30-second video that features Ellie and Dina riding their trusty steeds. Interestingly, Ellie talks about a certain film that she enjoyed in the good old days and to us, it sounds a lot like Spy Kids film. She mentions it has four parts and how Joel saw the last one in theatres
The gameplay description for the second leak comes back from PlayStation Lifestyle, and is as follows;
The clip starts with an in-game tag that reads “Seattle Day 3,” (similar to the tags found in the original game) then transitions to a scene of Ellie slowly waking up. Once dressed, Ellie begins looking for Dina and Jesse, the latter of whom Ellie speaks with early in the E3 2018 demo. Traversing through what appears to be a backstage area, she soon finds herself in the theater. From there, the character is able to move towards a guitar to practice.
Interestingly, it is not just a video that plays while she does this. The player will obviously have plenty of input, using the DualShock 4’s touchpad to strum the guitar, while also cycling between chords via button presses with L1 and R1. It seems a neat touch, a new mechanic that certainly carries weight for those who remember Joel’s promise to Ellie from the original The Last of Us.
Outcome? Confirmed.

April 4, 2020 - Reddit Comment Shares Spoilery Plot Details

It seems that a comment on a reddit post gained some traction after making some pretty bold claims.
Someone in the comments of the video said they saw a potentially true leak that says Joel AND Ellie both die. Joel is killed in the first few hours by Abby, the daughter of the surgeon you kill in Part One. This is apparently what happens in that scene in the trailer where Ellie's being held down. Ellie dies at the end of the story, but he wasn't told how. Jesse and Dina live. You play as Abby for half the game.
Well, as we know, this is mostly accurate. The reason this one spread like wildfire is that it claims both Ellie and Joel die, when in reality, we all know the truth. But the claim Abby and Joel is very accurate.
Outcome? Somewhat Reliable.

April 6, 2020 - Did The Whole Plot Get Posted On 4chan?

Very big thank you to reddit user u/dediusryan94 who managed to save the big possible leak on 4chan by screenshotting the whole post, and sharing it here on reddit. The whole leak is viewable in an album here, and is quite detailed.
For those who cannot view the image, or would rather read the text, here it is. I will also be adding comments about the accuracy of the leak where appropriate.
I am the immediate family member of someone working at Naughty Dog The Last of Us 2
As you know TLoU2 will be Ellie centered obviously. The stories main driving point is the romance that briefly kindled between Dina and Ellie. Not entirely accurate, the main point is revenge.
Ellie and Joel are distant because of Joel being controlling stemming from the decision in TLoU but are starting to try and mend their relationship. Accurate.
There is a love triangle of sorts, not exactly a triangle as its just two people who live Dina, being Jesse and Ellie. Accurate.
Jesse (asian guy from the trailers) and Dina were a couple. Dina is bisexual. Accurate.
When Jesse and Dina are on the outs of their relationship Dina starts to make advances on Ellie. Accurate.
Due to Dina being the girl every guy wants and having a history dating men (men being a central driving force in this story) Ellie is cautious and is unsure of how serious Dina is. Elements of Ellie's caution are seen at the start of the game.
However, after several flirtatious gestures Ellie begins to question if Dina really does loves Ellie, and Ellie ultimately begins to fall for her. Accurate.
Act 1 concludes with Dina and Ellie sharing an important intimate moment solidifying the relationship through act 1. Not 100% sure on the "acts" but definitely at the start of the game this is accurate.
That is until they are interrupted and attacked by a religious sect called the Seraphites (one of 2 groups we encounter, the other being the WLF). Not accurate, while Seraphites are in the game, they are not until later and Ellie encounters them alone.
Jackson is also attacked. False.
Dina is killed in this attack. False.
The Seraphites believe they are angels cleansing the wasteland. The old "the end of the world is cause of the sinners" trope. Accurate.
Anyone that is not a Seraphite is considered a "wolf" or "enemy to the flock (the Seraphites)". They also refer to themselves as "lambs". Inaccurate, only the WLF is referred to as "wolf".
In the vein of SJW baddies, the Seraphites dont like gays because its a sin. Not 100% sure this is accurate.
This is why all their members are *usually* white males with shaven heads of white women. And the few apostates (traitors) that leave the group tend to be minorities. Inaccurate.
Ellie vows to get revenge on the group. She does vow revenge, but not on the Seraphites.
Jesse joins her (that is Jesse in the trailer grabbing Ellies mouth, not Joel) as he also loved Dina. He is later killed as Ellie watches. Accurate. More on this later.
Ellie goes to her old house. False.
Then Joel joins her. Until he dies too. He does die, but not like this.
In the trailer you can see the Seraphites hanging people. This is because they use the old medieval method called "hanging and quatering". Accurate.
They only hang and disembowel former Seraphites. The disembowlment is for traitors or "Apostates". I believe they do this for anyone.
On the way to avenge Dina they have to cross through WLF territory. Accurate.
The leader of the WLF is Marlenes brother. Inaccurate or at least unconfirmed, the leader is Isaac played by Jeffrey Wright.
Joel dies and Ellie questions**Isnaccurate.**st for revenge was worth losing Joel who she recently mended her strained relationship with. False.
The Seraphites are all immune. False.
The cut on the cheek is a test for immunity. An infected knife. False.
Flashback happens. Yes, but for Ellie.
The mystery woman in the trailer is Ellies mom. False.
Ellies mom was looking for a cure. False.
She has a baby with a man that is immune. False.
The man is killed for sleeping with a "wolf" or outsider. False.
Marlene and Anna (Mystery woman) were friends. False.
Anna gives birth to Ellie then had Ellie taken away after being born to get her away from Marlene and the Seraphites. False.
Marlene (who is WLF) is then sent to retrieve Ellie and eventually finds her, using her friendship with Anna to win Ellies trust. False
Ellie ends up with Seraphite girlfriend who wont turn when they exchange fluids. False.
All in all, some accurate, some inaccurate. The most interesting one for me is actually the claim that the hand grabbing Ellie in the trailer is Jesse's hand, and not Joel's. In the trailer it is Joel, and content creators were actually able to play this segment of the game where they were also able to confirm that it was Joel. However, in the final game it is indeed Jesse has Joel had already died by this point of the game. This is the biggest part of the leak that lends credibility, but it also gets so many big things wrong for it to be considered a reliable leak.
Outcome? Unreliable. Gets some right, gets the big stuff wrong.

April 14, 2020 - Amazon Leaks New Release Date?

It seems that Amazon has made a whoopsie and leaked a June 26, 2020 release date. Not much more to it than this, although normally placeholder dates tend to be the last day of the month, so would in this case by June 30th, so there is some credibility to this leak.
Outcome? Inaccurate. This was never an announced release date.

April 27, 2020 - The Biggest Video Game Leak Of All Time

Here we go, probably the reason everyone clicked on this link, and why I have received dozens of messages asking when this post would be coming. It is in my opinion the biggest video game leak of all time, and there is so much to cover here it could be a whole article in itself.
The day that will go down in infamy for Neil Druckmann, and the entirety of everyone involved in the game, a leaker has managed to get their hands on over an hour of gameplay and cutscenes, sharing them online with the world. There are massive spoilers in the leak, covering big story elements that shock most fans.
The leak themselves? While I cannot share the video here, it is easy to google and find out what the major story beats seem to be for the game. This was the main source, the resetera thread covering it, but has since been edited. For those who want to see it before its changes, here is a screenshot of the archive.org of it, right here.
The main points of the leak seem to cover that;
Additionally, there was a large amount of gameplay leaking, including a short snippet of multiplayer footage which is currently being worked on as it would not be ready for launch.
So how did this leak?
One popular theory at the time was that the leak was the result of a disgruntled Naughty Dog employee who was upset over a pay dispute, and would make things right and not damage their career by leaking this. However, Sony managed to get in touch with Polygon and state that
SIE has identified the primary individuals responsible for the unauthorized release of TLOU2 assets. They are not affiliated with Naughty Dog or SIE. We are unable to comment further because the information is subject to an on-going investigation. We’re looking forward to when The Last of Us Part II will be in your hands and can’t wait for you to enjoy the full experience on June 19.
A few days later, journalist Jason Schreier shared on Twitter his version of the story, which seems to support both Naughty Dog's and Sony's claims;
OK: After talking to two people with direct knowledge of how TLOU2 leaked as well as some Naughty Dog employees, I have a good idea of what happened. Short version: hackers found a security vulnerability in a patch for an older ND game and used it to get access to ND’s servers.
I think the footage that leaked is from devs playing an early build (I haven’t watched it). Most importantly, rumors of this being an act of protest by a contractor whose pay was robbed are not true. (ND actually extended pay and healthcare benefits for contractors due to covid)
This idea is thoroughly explored and explained here in this Twitter thread from PixelButts.
Outcome? Confirmed. While there were also theories that the end of the game was the scene from the leaks where Abby confronts Ellie and Dina in the theatre, this wasn't the case and the actual ending had not leaked...yet, which was later confirmed by Druckmann. Further, this leak caused many to boycott the game due to the game's story and themes, with many disliking the direction that Naughty Dog was taking the series.

April 27, 2020 - Release Date Announced

I assume as an attempt to steal the headlines away from the leaks, the release date for The Last of Us Part II was announced for June 19, 2020 in an official blog post.

June 12, 2020 - The First Three Hours Leak Online

Just a week before the game's release, it seems that early copies have made their way out and the first three hours of the game managed to make their way online, as shared in this reddit thread. The leaks also provide context to a certain character's fate, and show the scene itself in the context of the story.
Outcome? Confirmed.

June 17, 2020 - The Ending Leaks

Just two days before the game is in everyone's hands, it seems that early copies have again let the ending make its way to the internet. The scenes in question are indeed the actual ending, showing the final confrontation in Santa Barbara where Ellie takes on Abby (and lets her live), and the ending at the farm.
Outcome? Confirmed.

June 19, 2020 - The Last of Us Part II Releases

Closing Thoughts

Wow, what a ride. Personally, this was my most anticipated game of all time, which is why this one didn't come as quick as some would have liked, I had to finish the game first. In my opinion, it is a great game, and once again my favourite game this generation - but I can understand how others may not feel that way due to the plot, the structure, the length, or even the characters.
There is no doubt in my opinion that this is the biggest leak of all time, in regards to games. The fact that such major plot elements and story elements had leaked for the sequel to last generations "game of the generation" is what makes it so shocking, and so fascinating. While other games have had the whole game leak, the fact that this is one the whole world had their eyes on, the nature of the leaks, and the contents of them, this personally takes the cake.
For those who did enjoy this post and want to read more of these look backs, feel free to check out my previous posts;
So what are your thoughts? Did the leaks impact your enjoyment of the game, or even impact your decision to buy the game in the first place? Where do you think the game will be headed in the future? What is next for Naughty Dog? Finally, what games do you want to see covered?
As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I do researching it.
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2020.08.11 21:59 horrorflickguy My racist grandmother gets put in her place

TL: DR at bottom.
About this story: all names contained herein are fictitious. Hence why there are quotation marks around them.
Me: Sassy then-closeted gay guy who doesn't discriminate.
Silvio: Judgemental douchebag who finds humor in other people's suffering.
Giovanna: My cantankerous bigoted Italian grandmother
Background: My German Jew mother married into an overbearing Italian Roman Catholic family. My father’s side of the family did not like her because she ‘wasn't Italian.’ Being also of minimal Polish and Czechoslovakian extraction, her heritage was not easily noticeable at first glance i.e. she's alabaster white and has honey brown eyes. As far as I knew, they just didn't like her because she was my father's second wife. Ironic, considering the people who had the most to say about it were my uncles. All of whom had been married at least three times themselves. Even at a young age, I realize the only standards any of my relatives ever held were double standards.
As I got older, I came to the sad realization that many of my relatives looked down upon me because of my mixed background. Adding insult to injury, my not being raised Catholic only added to the mess. Being that “Silvio” was divorced when he met my mother, the church wouldn't marry him. They were married in a Lutheran church. My brothers and myself were also raised/confirmed Lutheran. I've since joked that I was raised Catholic-lite: same religion, half the guilt. Due to the dubious tactics and subterfuge they employed, specifically fomented by “Giovanna,” I hardly ever saw my maternal grandparents. After my paternal grandfather passed away, all my uncles’s families made their obligatory cameo appearances on special occasions and key holidays. The rest of the time, being that we lived right up the road, Giovanna leaned on my father. She expected him to drop what he was doing and make her and whatever drama she had going on priority number one. Sick and tired of being at her beckoned call, he started sending me over there.
The story: It was the summer before my senior year of high school and Giovanna had finally upgraded to cable. I know that's dated, but this was over 20 years ago. She had to dispose of her ancient decades-old TV antenna. Naturally, this had to be done on the only day off I had from my then-part time job. My father employed me to be his indentured servant. So off to grandmother's house we went.
During the brief drive over there, my father was beyond his usual stoic self. This was not unusual, but there was something cold and distant about him. I asked him what was wrong and he gave a slight head shake indicating there was nothing to worry about. Then he started smirking quite smugly. I instantly started to feel quite anxious and worried.
We arrived at my grandmother's house and got out the appropriate tools to dig up her old TV antenna. I was sweating and quite uncomfortable as my father started having a conversation with my grandmother while I did all the work. She was standing there in her house dress and slippers as they shot the proverbial bullsh--.
Silvio: “Ma, did OP tell you he's got a girlfriend?”
I stopped digging around the antenna. Sweat poured into my eyes and was dripping all over my glasses as I tilted my head up to see my dad standing there with a smug expression on his face. He was doing it again. He was using the awkward situation I was in, where I had no escape, to amuse himself.
Giovanna [snarky]: “Well, it's about time! I was beginning to think you were a f-g.”
I froze. I almost dropped the tools and beat it out of there. I handed the shovel to my father and started walking away.
Silvio: “OP, get back here!”
OP: “Not until both of you apologize.”
I continued down the side of the yard to the driveway and on to the street. Instead of an apology, he chased after me, grabbed me by the arm and dragged me back to the task that still needed to be completed. I pulled away and crossed my arms.
OP: “I'm waiting.”
I got a half-hearted apology from my father and my grandmother did the same.
Giovanna: “Don't get so excited.”
I hated how she used the same buzzwords to describe everything. ‘Excited’ was the word she used to patronize me when I was feeling annoyed, aggravated, reacting to bullying from her, my uncles or my cousins. Little did she know I had had it. I was about to give both her and my father a piece of my mind.
Giovanna: “So OP has a girlfriend?”
Another thing my grandmother liked to do was talk about people as if they weren't present.
Silvio: “Yeah. He met her at work.”
Giovanna: “Oh. That's nice.”
My father's smug smile returned.
Silvio: “She's black.”
The bombshell dropped, my grandmother's eyes nearly bugged out of her head as she let out an audible gasp that sounded like she was having a full-on asthma attack. She wasn't an ashmatic. She just excelled at using histrionics to fuel her narcissism.
Giovanna: “She's what?!”
I kept digging around the bottom of the antenna and nearly had it free.
Me: “What's the problem? We all bleed red, Grandma.”
My grandmother flew into a tizzy and began a racist rant in the middle of her back yard for all the neighbors to hear. One line that stuck with me all these years was:
Giovanna: “God made white to be with white and black to be with black!”
I retorted back with examples of relatives including her own children and grandchildren who were in mixed marriages, but she didn't like that very much.
Me: “Grandma, hate to break it to you, but Italian isn't white.”
My father gave me the dirtiest look. My grandmother looked as though she could have been knocked over with a feather.
Giovanna: “You need to learn respect.”
Me: “That's the pot calling the kettle black.”
She turned and headed inside through the side garage door and in to the house. I heard the door slam behind her.
With the job done, my dad and I got in the car to head home. I was proud of myself for having stood up to both my father and grandmother's bullying, but I was terrified that I was now going to have to suffer my father's wrath for embarrassing him. He was stewing for most of the short ride back to the house. Then I heard him start to snicker. Then he began to laugh audibly. I gave him the side eye then fully turned and looked at him. I half expected him to backhand me. It wouldn't have been the first time.
Me: “Dad?”
Silvio: “That was a good one, OP.”
To say I was shocked, would've been an understatement. He even gave me a very out of character compliment stating how it was long overdue that I started standing up for myself. Of course, having known how my grandmother would react, he completely ignored the fact her that he had orchestrated this latest conflict. He told me several anecdotes about how other people had gotten my grandmother's goat. That's one of the very few occasions where I felt my father and I had truly bonded. Albeit, over very odd circumstances.
EDIT: Just to clarify a few things. I, even at a young age, was never of the mindset to judge people based on their differences. Being around and seeing how my own family behaved, was reason enough never to think like them or view them as role models The things my Italian grandmother and Sicilian grandfather said about their own Jewish daughter-in-law were disgusting. They would make anti-Semitic remarks and jokes when she was in earshot. She was classy enough to ignore it. Retrospectively, I don't know how she has stayed married to my uncle for over 35 years.
As for my snappy comeback to my now late grandmother, I just decided to turn her narrow-minded thinking around on her like a mirror. I'm aware that, for all intents and purposes, Italian is white. My grandmother was Napolitano and she acted like she was the poster child for whiteness. Following her logic, I couldn't understand why she married my Sicilian grandfather then. She used to refer to a Southern Italian, and anyone from the surrounding lands, as a “mulignan” which is the Italian equivalent to the N word. I can only imagine, what her reaction would have been, had she lived to find out she was part Spaniard on her father's side.
As for my mother, none of her former in-laws nor my late father were aware that she had Jewish blood in her. For years, my mother asserted she was only of German and Czechoslovakian descent. It wasn't until, after both my paternal grandparents and my father passed away that, I researched my maternal side of the family. She's not only of German Jew extraction on her mother's side but of Polish Jew on her father's side. Mom's response to the news: “Jesus was a Jew. I'll take it.”
All of this really doesn't matter. As I stated above, we all bleed red.
TL: DR: My racist grandmother revealed her true feelings about my interracial relationship. I snapped back at and left her speechless.
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2020.08.11 17:56 11Augdacket Dora the Explorer Po-rn Ga-me

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2020.08.10 02:30 ViciousGrass Caught between two worlds. Need some encouragement/advice and a good bop on the head too, for good measure. (Gender, Theology) Warning: Long read

Tl;Dr at the end
Ello all,
I’ll just start and say this is an alt (as my actual account is my username for many things) and I often frequent this sub and many, many, many, other Christian subs. As such, you can probably tell that I can’t get enough of our Lord and the salvation He gave to us. Although, there are just some things in my life I enjoy/support/believe in that, whether on purpose or not, are made out to be contradictory.
A little about myself. I was raised Charismatic by a darling grandmother. The rest of my family was around, however, she laid the foundation for my love of church. My parents were split and I lived with my maternal family in a very conservative area. My dad and stepmom attended a Presbyterian church. From a very early age, I remember having thoughts and actions that were gender nonconforming. For reference, I am AMAB. These persisted and developed into crossdressing (mostly) in private. However, publicly I presented myself as very masculine (think redneck hipster). I didn’t/don’t mind that. This summer I’ve began to wrestle with the idea I’m genderfluid or something of the like. I really like the idea of femming up my expression especially since I go to college in a more accepting area. This is not to mention the fact that I’ve been seeing a girl who is trans as well. I would really like if she and I were to go steady as she is very awesome and cute. I would consider myself very heterosexual, by the way. I don’t know if that’s worth mentioning or not, haha.
Now it’s time for a wrench to be thrown in. That of my theology. Like I said Charismatic/Presbyterian background. Well, in high school, I began to become interested in the Eucharist communion we did, as well as the Apostle’s creed. I began looking into where the Presbyterian church originated, then on to general church history, then to the reformation. I began getting interested in saint’s intercession, on and off. Although it really culminated in college where now I attend a Latin Rite Catholic Church and have a nerdy obsession with Eastern Catholic/Orthodox liturgy. I attended one-on-one RCIA Meetings with my priest and everything. I am even involved with the college’s catholic group. They’re fine people I just don’t bring up things I feel strongly about. LGBTQ+ affirmation, Women’s right’s, and my view on economics being just a few.
I’m sure you can now see the issues at hand. I love the liturgy and history of the Catholic Church, transubstantiation, apostolic succession, as well as the general aesthetic and history of liturgical churches. However, as these churches are older and more prone to tradition they’re quite conservative in regards to their theology. Thus my dating a transgirl would be seen as a same-sex relationship as the Church doesn’t recognize the gender how much of society actually does. My possible, tentative to be explored soon, gender expression scoffed at as well. While I quietly cringe listening to people (whether on Catholicism or IRL) talk about communism, gay marriage, and contraception, in terms I don’t agree with.
My plan was too never allow my two worlds to meet. I would keep my conservative church away from my life elsewhere. I’m here only because I find the practices of liturgical churches to fit right with me. I’m all on board with the “Keys to the kingdom of heaven and Saint Peter” schtick. Not so much on papal infallibility, admittedly. I know the Anglican Communion/Episcopal Church are more affirming and modern. However, “con-“ instead of transubstantiation and the lack of valid Eucharist do keep me from calling myself Episcopalian/Anglican. I do, however, attend one often though. My ideal church would be a mix of the RCC and AngCom.
So I guess what I’m asking for is some advice. For one I’d like to know how I could subvert certain gender norms while attending church. I thought of wearing nail polish to Mass. Although I’m unsure how that will be received. As well as just some general support. It’ll be a hard sell to get me to jump churches as I do love where I am. However, that love isn’t blind to the mistakes the Church makes every day. I would love to hear your all’s suggestions for other Rites that may be more affirming, if one exists unbeknownst to me. Also the girl I am talking to is very aware of my being an ally (she knows not yet about my gender non-conformity) and strong proponent of social justice. However, it seems like she has a bad taste in her mouth when it comes to Christianity. I want to have a conversation with her about my theology and philosophy to let her know where I stand. I just really need some reassurance and some prayers as well please.
Tl;Dr; I’m caught in between loving a church who is, by design, very traditional and my gender being (maybe) not entirely male. Despite that same Church also championing a gender binary. I want to subvert it but don’t know how.
Sorry this was a long read but I felt the need to post this for a long time now. God bless you guys.
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